Dating : How Not To Let Online Dating Make You Emotionally Used Up

You don’t have to sleep with 100 or 200 men or women to become emotionally “used up”. Meeting and going out on just one date with 100 or two hundred matches on a dating app can cause just as much damage by making you lose all motivation to date and any hope in finding connection and love.

Becoming jaded is not about the physical act of penetration. It’s about going through the same cycle over and over -having your hope for something special being shattered over and over again, until you have little to no energy left to care or even want to care about anyone. This is the reason that so many people who try dating apps, end up getting sucked into this carousel of pointless dating where to equally emotionally unavailable people are trying to see if there are any “sparks” in a situation where no such sparks are even theoretically possible. At that point, even if someone very special comes into your life, with whom you otherwise would have developed a relationship full of exciting moments and long-term potential, you wouldn’t be able to make it happen, because you lost the ability to care, at least for a while, until you recover from your dating fatigue.

So, what does this all mean to you? -This means that you should be much more picky and careful about who you go out with. Contrary to the popular belief, “I will go out with anyone” or “I will give anyone a chance” is not a good mindset, especially when it comes to online dating, even if this makes you sound kind and open minded, because it will inevitably make you waste many hours or many pointless dates.

To avoid becoming emotionally used up, you must be more selective. Your “screening” process of potential dates should not just be limited to height, education, and your compatibility in terms of likes and interests. Before you meet, you should have some type of meaningful exchange in writing, which makes you at least somewhat intrigued about meeting in real life. You should also have at least one fun phone conversation, which makes you want to hear that person’s voice again. While this of course won’t guarantee that your next first date will be with the love of your life, it will surely help you avoid wasting time on going out with the wrong people, and above all -help you avoid becoming disinterested in dating altogether.

Almost everyone who uses dating apps is in a big hurry to meet up “for a drink” to see if there is chemistry. I, however, suggest that you slow down, and have fewer but better dates, and then the chances of you meeting someone who is special to you as you are to them will be much greater.