Dating : I Met the Love of My Life Through Instagram

I met the love of my life through Instagram.

Yes, you heard that right. A social media website dedicated to sharing videos and photos was able to help me discover my soulmate.

A few years ago, I went to a youth camp; I remember the speaker sharing a story on how he met his wife. Guess where? Facebook. She messaged him, they went on a date, and a year later they were married.

I remember scoffing at that, who on earth meets people online? No way. Not for me, I was old-fashioned. I preferred the classy way of things; perhaps my dream guy would bump into me at the grocery store — maybe we would reach for the same chocolate-filled but healthy snack. *insert heart eyes here*

Or, perhaps we would meet at a book store or cafe, my ultimate dream come true. I would be sitting very elegantly on a chair; my hair would be perfect. I’d look like the most graceful lady on the planet, as I read through “The Great Gatsby.” Or some other classy novel I’d usually fall asleep to every night with a bottle of wine in hand.

I didn’t think finding relationships online was for me.

According to TechCrunch, 30% of U.S. adults have used online dating apps, and only 12% of U.S. adults said they found a committed relationship or got married as a result of that usage.

I was honestly pretty surprised by these numbers; I ended up researching how many people utilize the app “Tinder,” and according to an article on techjury, it’s estimated that there’s a total of 50 million active Tinder profiles. The app has been downloaded more than 100 million times on Android’s Play Store alone.

More than 35% of all Tinder users are aged 18–24, and 76.9% of all U.S. Tinder users are male.

I’ve never used Tinder before, but I have a lot of friends that have had great success with it. If they didn’t end up in a committed relationship — they at least had a good night out.

I don’t know anybody who had dating success using Instagram, but when I did some research, I found a piece published in The New York Times sharing stories similar to mine.

“Anthea Fisher, 22, a project manager in finance, began a relationship on Instagram with someone she had known peripherally. “We liked each other’s stuff from time to time,” she said. “After my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, he started liking a lot of my stuff and watching all of my Stories. He would DM me, he would send me memes. And I sort of knew he was trying to get my attention.”

Instagram has more than 1 billion active users who engage with the app at least once a month. Some use Instagram for businesses, some for sharing photos of their kids or food, and some for sharing memes about hungover mornings and their fitness routines. And then, some use Instagram as a supplemental match-making tool.

“It’s basically a portfolio for your dating life,” said Halen Yau, 31, a public relations manager from Toronto.

Along with Instagram providing a visually driven collage of your life, it also offers subtle ways of expressing your interest in someone through likes and comments and connecting in the form of a private chat.

I’m by no means an Instagram guru or relationship expert, but I do have social media to thank for finding the love of my life.

Here’s how it all started.

I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was 20 years old, living in Seattle with my cousin and our dog Tyrese.

I worked three jobs because I was saving up to move to Los Angeles. I had little to no social life, and I was okay with that. I’ve always been a happy loner.

With the little free time that I had, I watched old movies, read books, sometimes I’d watch YouTube videos, and I enjoyed scrolling through fitness accounts on Instagram.

A few months before this, I had come out of a crappy and very much so dead-end relationship. The guy was the epitome of a total loser, and I couldn’t get over the fact that I had wasted so much time and energy on him. I decided I wanted to take back my life; I wanted to be an independent woman, working on me — for me.

Men were nothing to me at that point, I had little to no self-esteem during that relationship, and when I finally got out of it, I was grateful. I realized that as women, we waste so much of our precious time on men that we think we can fix.

We think we can show them that there’s more to life than guys’ night. We think we can show them that there’s more to life than video games, or pornography, or other women for that matter. We think we can show them that at 26, they should not be living under their parents’ roof when they have a full-time job.

Frankly, I was disgusted with myself. I finally realized that I deserved better, and I would never settle for less again.

So off I went, on my journey to regain my confidence, allow my inner-goddess to finally reveal itself. I was moving to Los Angeles; I was ending this chapter of life and not even flipping a new page — I was starting a whole new book!

Needless to say, I was excited. I had no plans, no idea what I was getting myself into. I just knew what I was doing was the right thing.

One fine June afternoon, I was sunbathing while watching a YouTube video of one of my favorite fitness influencers, and I spotted someone.

I immediately went to her Instagram. I had no idea who this person was, nor did I know his name — but something inside of me told me I had to find out.

I’m not sure if life just simply wanted to bless me at that moment, or if the universe was telling me something, but there he was — tagged in her stories.

I went to his profile — it was private. I requested to follow him, and moments later — he accepted me.

I scrolled through his profile; I felt an uncontrollable attraction to him. I couldn’t understand why; he was the exact opposite of any guy I’d ever go for. He was well built — extremely well built. Definitely into fitness, I’m pretty sure I spent an unreasonable amount of time counting his abs. He was also a bit fair-haired, sandy brown. I typically preferred darker guys.

His eyes were hazel, and he had the kindest smile I’d ever seen in my entire life. He also had a story on his Instagram; I clicked to see it; it was a fruit cake. After two hours of analyzing what I should say to him, I decided on the most intelligent response.

“It’s basically a fruit salad.”

That’s how our love affair began.

I had around three months before moving to Los Angeles. I was set on my goals, and nobody — nobody would get in the way of them.

Despite my ex’s best efforts to get me to stay, I said no. And, despite his efforts to win me back, I still said no.

“Have a good life; I hope you find someone who can tolerate you, your boys, and your other women.”

Those were the last words I said to him. Cruel but honest. He continued to try to sway me; he moved out of his parent’s house, got his own apartment, got himself a phone. Oh, did I mention he was a grown adult who refused to get a phone?

He said they were too expensive. Yet somehow, his addiction to overpriced board games and video games was extremely affordable.

I didn’t care. I felt good about life and all it had to offer, and what’s more, is that I had a new friend — in Los Angeles of all places.

That’s right, the same guy I’d found on Instagram and felt an immediate pull towards also lived in the same area that I would be moving to.

We talked — every single day. And, being the clever girl I am, I asked him if it would be okay to have a few things shipped to his house for my move. He kindly accepted and gave me his address. It turns out, the apartment I ended up moving into was less than 5 minutes away from his. Fate was on our side. It felt like.

I got to know him. I mean — I really got to know him. I asked him hundreds of questions about his life, where he grew up, what his favorite colors are, what his goals in life consist of, where he wants to travel to, what he hates about life, what he loves about it. I’ve never experienced that type of connection with anyone before; it was a wholesome and pure friendship.

Obviously, I was extremely attracted to him — but knowing that neither one of us was looking for a relationship made everything comfortable.

I think that’s where people screw up all the time. They jump without learning how to fly first. They drive manual cars without learning how to drive a stick-shift. Because it feels good or seems cool because they think they can get the hang of it eventually.

They think they’ll learn how to function in a relationship as time goes on; they think they can fix the other person.

Relationships aren’t supposed to be like they were in high school; you can’t just wing it and expect it to work in your favor.

Getting to know one another, taking your time to understand one’s quirks, likes, dislikes, past history could benefit your future relationship so much.

In the end, when we started dating, it felt like we were best friends just doing life together.

Two years later, two-three apartments later, a home, lots of laughter, tons of arguments, and tears, but more in love than ever, I can honestly say I met my soulmate on Instagram.

I believe that dating apps, when used the right way, can be extremely beneficial; with our society now and millions of people working from home — it can be challenging to meet people.

I’ll always find it ironic that I was one of those people that didn’t believe in finding your significant other online, yet I did just that.