Dating : I’ve Found Love as a Single Mother By Choice

Ialways knew that I wanted to be a mother. Motherhood is “the one” milestone that I didn’t want to miss out on. In some ways, I am made to be a mother: my compassionate nature, my devotion, and my empathy. With my childhood traumas, I am eager to be a “good” mother to my son to validate my own healing as well as to end the cycle of trauma.

After spending two years investigating all the options, I decided to start a family as a single mother using donor sperm. Although Single Mother by Choice is very common now in the United States, it is still a practice that many find offensive.

The idea that one person can start a family seems to be in violation of the concept of Adam and Eve. At every turn, I encountered people who questioned my choice.

Do you have family support for your child?

Who will be your son’s male role model?

I get it. Most of the time, people have great intentions. They wanted to make sure that I thought through this decision. I was prepared to make sacrifices.

It is a difficult road ahead.

Those kinds of comments I welcomed and I appreciated. I was grateful to be able to talk through my decision with these friends.

However, there were also people who were not kind. My existence offends their community in some way. Our family’s success violated their notion of love and family. Although I try not to think about the comments from these people, the comments still linger in the back of my mind.

Single motherhood is hard without another parent to offset your workload.

But, the love that flows within my family seems to be endless. In my childhood, I had both parents. But, due to both circumstances and inadequate parenting, I was love-starved. As a single mom, I often think my son receives 50% of the love that he needs. But, actually, he receives the full 100% of the love that he needs.

As a single mother, I was skeptical. I felt insecure about my own decision to start a family.

Lately, I increasingly realize that I made the right decision.

• Love is not something that you find.
• Love is something that you cultivate.
• Love is something that you grow.

Love has many faces: romantic love, parent-child love, friendship love, man-kind love.