h2>Dating : On a crisp winter day the air was a frigid 35 degrees in Savannah, Georgia.
On a crisp winter day the air was a frigid 35 degrees in Savannah, Georgia. So much for a winter vacation in February. I had awoken at 0600, nursing the end of mission hangover, in order to be at the shop at 0700 for our departure. I, and a Senior Master Sergeant had been selected for this two week mission in order to provide support for the members of our base to interact with the home communications flight in order to get internet connectivity and other spurious issues that arise when laptops aren’t connected for long periods of time.
The morning consisted of making sure that we had all of our communications gear stowed away properly and secured. It’s unlikely that anyone would actually steal our laptops, but you never know. There’s a saying in the military, “There’s no such thing as thieves, everyone is just trying to get their own shit back”. This saying wouldn’t count towards people stealing laptops, but you get the point either way.
All of our bags we’re positioned in one of the hangars on pallets, getting ready to be loaded into the planes by the Aircraft Loadmasters. Every pallet of bags and equipment is weighed to ensure that the plane can…
- Remain in the air and not be too heavy
- Distribute the weight accordingly to prevent difficult flying situations.
The morning was calm. The temperature was finally rising into the 50’s. Every few minutes forklifts were bringing more pallets filled with bags into the hangar for staging.
Some of the bags tipped over off of a pallet and members started throwing them back onto the pallet in a way so that they wouldn’t tip over. What happened next I will remember for the rest of my life.
Through all the forklifts moving, people standing around talking, and movement there was a buzzing that noise pierced through the room. It sounded as if a hive of bees were coming. Dead silence fell upon the room as more members heard the sound. An entire pallet was humming and shaking. Then an eruption of laughter and pointing began as everyone realized what had happened.
Upon throwing the bags back onto the pallet, the impact of the bag striking the other bags activated a massive dildo that had dialed into the maximum power overdrive setting causing the noise along with the entire pallet to shake.
Me: Senior Master Sergeant, what should we do?
Senior Master Sergeant: Nothing, the battery will eventually die with that kind of fucking power.
