h2>Dating : Our Time — #GenerationRepeat
Michael mother’s was a nurse and dad and former apache helicopter pilot turned commercial airline pilot. Michael is the third oldest of 5 siblings, including his two step-siblings. He is the oldest of three sibling between his mom and dad. Michael’s two step-siblings included one from each his mom and dad, preceding their marriage.
Michael grew up in the working-middle class — too poor to be comfortable, too educated and trained to be poor. Enough to struggle from month to month and hold on to ever evading dreams for a brighter day.
Born in 1987 and raised in Astoria, Queens, Michaels parents rose early and worked late. Ensuring their Michael would have a roof over their head and food on the table. Beginning at age seven, Michael’s parents begin to argue. The years rolled by: housing prices rose, fresh fruits and vegetables became a luxury — doing more with less became America’s mantra. Sleep became a luxury.
By eleven years old (1998), Michael’s mom and dad decided to divorce — economics of the working poor and the trapping pressures for the working-middle class eventually broke through the supposed immutable bounds of marriage.
Michael’s dad continued to provide for this family and come around to see Michael and his siblings, for some time.
The years continued to roll by and a dollar started to go a loooooong way…as there was less and less you could buy. By time Michael turned fourteen, he seen his dad less and less. By time Michael turned fifteen his Dad was all but gone from his life.
Like so many others — Michael’s Dad’ a vet, a father, and part of the working poor — was over taken by his demons.
Demons created by the horrors of war…. the Kafkaeseque nightmares about never being able to evade poverty’s extending hand…the burdening fist striking mighty and daily blows for life’s fleeting dreams.
Eventually turning to self-medication, bourbon and coke, by age 16 (2005) Michael’s dad went the way of Ozymandias. Michael, his mother, his siblings ,and Michael’s memories are the remains from his dad.
Time went on, Michael graduated high school. Michael went on to college to obtain a degree in chemistry and public policy (2009), then graduate school obtaining a Ph.D in nuclear chemistry and astronomy (2015) (yes, Michael was on it — unlike the games life plays, he played none!). Being part of the millennial generation, he itched and yearned to change the world, not just use use education to follow the “modified 40/40 plan.”
Following, graduate school Michael moved to Houston, Texas to be close to the Johnson Space Station. In actuality to pursue his dream — develop micro-organisms and staged protocols for the terraformation of planets. A dream that may seem esoteric too many but, a dream nonetheless.
You see, while the world spun out of control around— 9/11; Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes death; rise in asbestos mesothelioma cases; Occupy ___ (you fill in the blank); crash of the housing market; the Great Recession; tyrant assassination B-I-N-G-O (Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Muammar Gaddafi) — Michael’s dreamt to not only fix the world we live in but to create new and better ones.
No, no — Michael did not have a God complex but true intellectual curiosity and unrelenting hope. Hope which at times Michael, felt he would have been spared many life pain’s if only he could feel less. Michael’s fascination with other planets and terraformation was based in his ideology on how to fix America’s problems. He believed, he believes that vision proceeds noble action and feeling proceeds vision.
As Michael set out to change the world. Life in Astoria continued on — his mom continued to struggle in New York City’s “rent is too damm high” real estate market while trying to continue to support her kids taking flight. Michael’s unrelenting unaccepting capitulation to the status quo, prayer, good luck, and hard-work led him begin down the road to success in his life. While in Houston he worked for a law firm as a patent agent — making assessments on patentability and developing patent applications.
At night — Michael would toil in his dreams, developing an epic business plan that would truly and actually let him reach the stars, eventually, transform one!
Making a humble wage — Michael lived modestly, following the advice of his since departed grandmother,
“separate your needs from your wants and you will never come up short.”
Michael would send money back home to his mother to help her with expenses; aide his siblings when he could with their journey’s , in particular his sister who seemed to be overcome by life’s demons and stayed in legal trouble.
About a year after Michael became settled (2017), things at home became too much to bare for his mother. Expenses far surpassed her income and her children, Michael excluded, became a burden. Michael’s mother bounds of love never ceased but her mental capacity was reached.
Slowly, Michael’s mother begin to descent into despair. Following the lead of her departed ex-husband. Drinking, keeping unsavory company that provided her with cathartic non-prescription pharmaceutical relief from the harsh realities of life — all in exchange for the low price as one dealer put it
“unparalleled access to her passport of the world.”
Luckily about six months into Michael’s mother descent into madness, Michael’s youngest sibling accidentally slipped in informing him what was happening at home. An accidental slip that led to one of his mother’s unsavory friends blackening his eye to a shade darker than midnight.
As was customary for Michael — being the son, the person, and believing in hope for hope’s sake — Michael stepped up and stepped in, moving his mother and younger siblings to Houston (2018).
While his siblings became settled into Houston and his mom quickly found work shortly after arriving — Michael attempted to continue to maintain life as as normal. His space became cramped, his organization fell out of whack, his mood slipped into despair, and his late night work on his dreams became replaced by late night work to maintain finances. Michael went from having a “9 to 5” and pursing a dream to having a “9 to 5” and a “5 to 9.”
Daily Michael spoke to his spirit refusing to allow his immutable soul refused to go down the path of drugs or alcohol, or otherwise be lured by despairs siren call.
But internally, Michael struggled… he struggled to balance:
The feeling of responsibility for others with the longing for personal freedom…
Hope for hope’s sake with the life’s vicissitudes and daily demands…
Dreams with obligation…
Rightful indignation with questions of ungratefulness…
Compassion and understanding for others situations and positions in life with life’s ticking time-clock…
A desire to leave the world or at least his life better than he entered life…
Through and through, each day Michael slipped further from himself. Tormented by thoughts agony unrequested responsibility. Fearing of the consequences to his immortal soul and sheerly having reverence for the life that gave him life, the world’s unrelenting weight and burdens piled on.
Soon, Michael’s desires and hopes became nothing more than thoughts and hopes of survival. Michael’s dreams was filed away in a drawer like a mad farmer’s mind.
