h2>Dating : Setbacks Men Face Using International Dating Apps
Here’s the scenario.
You’ve signed yourself up for an international dating app. Initially, you are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of beautiful women on the platform.
After a few days, you start getting dozens of potential matches.
Then, the days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. Surprisingly, it seems you still haven’t found love.
How can this be?
Maybe this article can explain what’s happening.
We’ll be tackling why a lot of men are having no success finding love on various online dating sites.
This might not have crossed your mind, but unconscious racism and biased beliefs can become a hindrance when building romantic relationships.
Yes, you read that right.
Unconscious racism exists.
It’s a result of cultural conditioning. Most of us are born and raised in a cultural context. While growing up, we unconsciously develop prejudice towards our race and to others.
There’s a word for it — ethnocentrism.
It happens when we fail to see and appreciate our differences with other people belonging to a different culture.
According to Felicity Menzies, a psychologist and writer, “Ethnocentrism is linked to cultural blind spots.”
Because of our belief in the superiority of our own culture, we start to judge based on our pre-established ideals.
So how does this negatively affect your international dating experience?
Simply put, when you unconsciously show racist behavior to your potential matches, they become discouraged and will discontinue the romantic pursuit, leaving you confused and baffled.
The most effective way to address this issue is through gaining cultural intelligence — becoming culturally aware.
When interacting with a potential match, you need to find the right balance between your own cultural values and that of the other person, open your mind to learning it, and refrain from being judgmental.
Remember, when we treat people with respect, they’re more likely to reciprocate positively.
It might be best if you slightly lower your online dating expectations.
We’re not saying you should lower your standards, since that’s an entirely different subject. What we mean is that you need to know the difference between having unrealistic expectations and not setting any. The former can prevent you from finding love.
Think about it, trying to find an interesting woman on various international dating apps is an arduous and long process. You’re spending countless hours browsing through the app’s database in hopes of stumbling into the profile of a woman worth getting to know.
When that happens, you should never set high expectations. You’ll most likely ruin your dating experience.
What if she’s not mutually interested in you?
What if, later on, you find out you’re not compatible?
You’re setting yourself up for failure and heartbreak by automatically setting high and unrealistic expectations from the beginning. You should just enjoy the process and see where potential matches lead you.
It’s difficult getting to know a foreign woman online, especially if you don’t speak her language and she doesn’t speak yours.
Sure, you can always use Google Translate to talk to one another, but it’s not going to be easy. Some words can get lost in translation and misunderstandings due to misinterpretations are likely to happen in the process.
Though free dating apps are widely preferred, it’s better if you engage in the services of a reputable international matchmaking agency that offers translation services to its users. That way, you won’t have to worry about the language barrier that comes with dating overseas.
A lot of people lie on their dating profiles, and it’s normal. Online daters consider it a tactic to lure in more potential matches. Some call it strategic deception.
While highly discouraged, it’s still a common occurrence in the online dating world. To give you an idea why this is happening, here are popular reasons why people misportray themselves on an online dating site or app:
- Fear of someone misusing their accurate information (for blackmail and fraudulent activities);
- To make themselves appear more interesting;
- To make themselves unrecognizable from friends and acquaintances; and
- Most times, some just do it for fun.
Though it’s arguably one of the biggest problems men face when using international dating sites and apps, it shouldn’t cause discouragement in finding love online. Many foreign women who are genuinely looking for love and a serious long term relationship still exist out there.
Meeting and dating women online is risky. Then again, dating, whether online or in real life, is a gamble in itself.
You’re putting yourself out in the open, making yourself vulnerable to all kinds of romance scammers.
These are people who pretend to be someone they’re not so they can lure you into wanting to be in a romantic relationship with them.
Once they gain your trust and affection, they’ll find ways to trick you into sending them money. After that, they disappear without a trace, leaving you with a broken heart and an empty wallet.
Though dating scams do happen in real life, not every online encounter you’ll have with a foreign woman is going to be one. Use common sense and good judgment, and you’ll surely find someone who’s genuine.
There’s always the possibility of matching with the wrong type of people when you register on an online dating app or matchmaking site.
This is because compatibility cannot be quantified.
Most online dating platforms base their matching algorithms on similar interests of users. Although you both like the same music, that doesn’t mean you’ll automatically hit it off.
Other times, users get to input what they’re looking for in a partner — physical preferences, education, or political beliefs. The downside of this is that most of us don’t know what we’re looking for, so we can’t always expect to get decent matches.
Overall, finding good matches online is a matter of luck and timing. You just need to be patient and keep a positive attitude.
Finding Love Online
While there are inevitable drawbacks to using international dating apps and sites, the advantages still outweigh the disadvantages.
Other than getting to travel abroad, it’s also one of the most efficient and convenient ways of meeting foreign women who are looking for serious relationships.
So take the above-mentioned challenges and perils as a word of advice and precaution. Reflect on how you should approach online dating and you just might find success in love.
