Dating : Unicorn Hunting (and how to stop)

First, let’s address the basics. What is Unicorn Hunting? Why is it problematic? What are some negative behaviors associated with Unicorn Hunting?

Unicorn Hunting is when a couple, typically a heterosexual Man and a Bisexual Woman, seek out other Bisexual Women for sex and relationships in a seemingly inconsiderate manner. The couple generally believes that they are trying to welcome a 3rd person into their relationship and seek out partners that both find attractive.

This is often paired with troubling behaviors toward the third person or the “Unicorn”. They may find that the couple is unwilling to date separately, as to say that the Unicorn must love them both immediately and equally or neither of them. The Unicorn can be subjected to rules regarding their body (ex: No sex unless it’s a 3some) or how they show their affection (ex: being kept hidden from family or friends). The Unicorn may find that the Couple holds special authority and privileges that they use to deny or change the plans of the Unicorn.

This is the toxic and infamous Unicorn Hunting that is both widespread and despised in Non-Monogamous communities. Couples may see these behaviors as boundaries and rules to protect their relationship but it only comes across as restrictions on love for the 3rd party. If the couple is insecure in their own relationship, these behaviors may cause greater conflict when challenged.

But this isn’t all bad news. If you’re reading this, you’re already one-step ahead of the Unicorn Hunters. Chances are, you’re serious about expanding your relationship and pursuing Non-Monogamy in a positive manner. If you want your triad, or your just broadening your romantic horizons, you need to understand how to avoid “Unicorn Hunting”.

So what should you do? What should you NOT do?