Dating : Walking in Manhattan

The day started in the evening for him. The ticking of the clock was counting down his time. Nevertheless, he struggled to get out of his bed. He just needed a little nudge to get his day doing like a coffee or a favorite song. He was not exhausted, he was just feeling hopeless. It was normal because his bedroom would be nearly 500 degrees Fahrenheit.

Happiness was the only true goal for him. He just wanted to sit at that table and think about his life. It was also normal because he had the innate ability to think whereas his cat did not. However, instead of doing that, he left his apartment immediately. He was going to his barber. However, he changed his idea quickly because his barber had a huge tendency to cut his hair a little bit shorter than he like.

After five minutes he was marching in Manhattan with a hot coffee on his hand. He got no worries. He felt like he was trying to run away. That feeling renewed his life. His life was tolerable at that time.

Coffee, Manhattan and something to do…. these were his ingredients for a beautiful night.

He could not remember the last time he made coffee. A whole lot of chocolate could make his life better at that time. It was like a fact, coffee always made him think. He started thinking about the people and the birds. He knew that he can not fly and touch the sky. First, started looking for birds flying in other people’s eyes. Then he looked at the sky. He saw the birds. The birds were flying up at the high-voltage power lines. All they wanted just was the sky. There was such a thing as “too much beauty” because of birds or what was above him. He tried to rationalize the beauty. He was staring at the birds and now was believing in beauty. He also saw there were no boundaries for birds. He wishes he could surround himself with those birds. He could embrace freedom in that way. He thought he loves birds the way that he loves the sky. Then he tried to ask the birds out for a coffee and a hug. It was an easy way to put a smile on a face. Meanwhile, the people were alone in a coffee shop.

The night was also peaceful, massive and filled him up with hope. He was wearing an old and ragged brown coat, with all its buttons missing except one, and the one he had not buttoned. He was also bespectacled and mustachioed. He was also a person who felt a lot of indifference, he usually said “eh” a lot.

It was cold but he already got resistance against cold. The cool wind was on his cheeks and in his hair on that spring day. He imagined his immune system putting up a fierce resistance against invading germs. That picture in his head made him tremble all over. Suddenly, he saw a lady who was not wearing a helmet on her motorcycle across the street, and even he did not know anything about her, he was genuinely worried about her getting hurt on her Vespa. He just felt a magnetic attraction. If he could be able to run like Usain Bolt, he would try to catch her and beg her to wear a helmet. He had a tendency to help people when they were in danger. He was conscious of that.

He ran. She disappeared. However, he couldn’t find any reason for himself to disappear. Finding a reason for anything was always not as simple as going to the gas station and filling the tank for him.

After five minutes he found himself at a park. It was crowded. The chatter in the park was so loud he could not hear himself think. His respect for the people aside, he just wanted to be alone only for ten minutes. He wanted to shout “everybody scatters” to make everyone to spread out and leave the area. He might gain his wishes in this way. Regardless, he did not do that. He felt dread like many people at the very thought of speaking in front of a crowded. He was strolling merchant to merchant, buying a magazine in one shop and soda in another.

After he realized that he would not be able to be alone, he got on the train. He saw a cat in a cage, and “The cat has to be free in the street.” He whimpered. And he added, “We should never underestimate human stupidity.” He saw the epitome of the idea of establishing world peace and setting all the cats free was quixotic. Life was full of underlying reasons people did things, but making cats unhappy was definitely meaningless. He recited one of his favorite quotes about mathematics;

“In mathematics, you don’t understand things. You just get used to them.”

He firmly supported the quote. That cat also aroused his love of his city, Istanbul where the cats have been invaded the streets… He put his head against the cold window of the backseat and started reading his notes about life on the train with his notebook. The train was quiet. The rest of the passengers were busy with their personal screens except for the elderly man his daughter. The elderly man’s paternity was so clear, his daughter had the same red hair that he did. He could hear the trivial details the old man shared with his daughter about the trip to the post office this morning. “Tell your story, enjoy your life, but leave the rest of us alone,” he muttered like his uncle. His uncle has muttered every night when he was watching the news. It was like the repetitive story his dad told every time when they had guests for dinner.

Finally, he got back to his apartment. He loosened his collar and belt after a long walk at Manhattan. There might only be 2 miles between his apartment and Manhattan, but in feeling terms, that distance can be measured in 7 light-years. 7 was his favorite number. All his need was a book at that time. Books always helped define who he was. It was also the most beautiful way to cut himself off from everyone and everything at those moments.

He just needed to meet himself far away.