for men & women, it’s different!
Falling in love: for men and women, it’s different! Researchers formalize the intensity of the feeling of loving, they find it called the “love scale” which is in fact a scale for understanding the difference between love at first sight in men and women.
Love at first sight
There are several ways to fall in love and fall in love. Unlike love at first sight, love follows a course of three stages. There is first the passion then the commitment and finally the attachment. As love evolves over time, love at first sight occurs within the first few seconds.
Having love at first sight doesn’t involve any effort. It happens suddenly when you meet the eyes of someone you meet for the first time. Love at first sight produces a “cool kiss” effect, you want to share everything with the other, to shower him / her with gifts, you are on cloud nine … Then the days pass and you get to know your partner better. It is then necessary to make efforts to adapt to her / him. The reason ? You have to continue to love it and you are making efforts every day.
Love Scale & Love at first sight
Rubin and John Lee, two psychologists from the 70s invented the “Love Scale” or “Love Scale” to assess the intensity of loving in men and women. Thanks to the two inventors, we learn that the men fall in love faster (25%) before the 4th meeting against 15% of women. Let men express their feelings faster than women and they are the first to say « I love you ». Women (50%) need 20 appointments to fall in love. They believe in feelings more than men and they are ready to offer all their love. While women are known to be more romantic than men, men suffer more from breakups. The woman says « I love you » when she judges that her partner is a potential person, likely to form a real relationship. The woman concentrate all of her affection on one person. Which doesn’t mean that all women get attached to the same man and men fall in love with every woman they meet. Concentration is more on attention and understanding.
Men and women have roughly the same score on the Love Scale for love at first sight. There are 54% of women who fall in love from the first seconds against 63% of men.
Man & woman facing love
Side seduction? Men approach women more easily, which shows a man’s interest in women and gives women more opportunities than men to form relationships.
What about intimate relationships? If intimate relationships bring the two partners together, there are differences there too for men and women. While the man needs a place to have sex, the woman needs a reason to accept sex. Women have more need of « feeling », which confirms Monica Bellucci during an interview: « After love, the man falls asleep and the woman thinks ».
First kiss, first gift? The man remembers his first kiss, he gives a gift from the second meeting (dinner, flowers). The woman, she does not forget her first kiss, she is less marked than the man. She rarely gives gifts, she is more expressive in words.
Fall in love and keep the love
It is not enough to fall in love and in love, the goal is to keep your lover and in love as long as possible. John Gray, a humorous author gives us a little learning lesson. He says that a long time ago the Martians had met the Venusians, each one marveled at the singularity of the other. If their resemblance was a factor of attachment, their difference was a factor of attraction. They then chose to come and settle on Earth to have the perfect love there. Once on Earth, they realized that they looked alike and that the difference became an obstacle. To erase these differences, the man and the woman will erase the imperfections to get as close as possible to happiness. What is John Gray’s message? He explains to us that the differences between men and women are not an obstacle to achieving happiness, we must focus on the positive aspects of each.
To fall in love
Keeping love involves falling in love and falling in love over time. For love at first sight to turn into love, we must continue to love the other as on the first day.
Joyce, Dating Coach
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