POF : Is there something wrong with me? Kind of a vent.
I am 33 Male. I have a job that pays well. A car and motorcycle. Never cheated on any one. Been in multiple relationships where I’ve been cheated on but also have been left. I have hobbies and stay fairly busy. I treat the women I meet well and when I fall in love I give what I can to them and the relationship. I don’t drink and if I do it is only like once a week if that. No drugs. Not married or divorced. No kids. I have dated mothers with kids and have no real problem with that. I try. This is my back story.
I have been on POF for about 5 months. talked to a lot of women on there. There is a pattern though.
Every time I am about to meet with someone in real life, in public or keep talking to them in order to meet, they bail. They give an excuse or something that sounds fishy or just ghost me.
No one owes me anything and I’m understanding to a fault. I get it’s scary but I’m starting to suspect there’s something wrong with me.
These women message me. THEY ask for dirty pictures or share theirs first. They sext and get all hot and tell me they can’t wait to meet and then after a while they go cold or distant.
I read all the time that you shouldn’t text too much or seem overly interested or whatever. But when I don’t talk to them for one day they get pissed and act like I don’t care or something.
All the women I talk to all say they want a relationship but won’t keep a date time or cancel at the last minute. They reschedule and I give them another chance and they cancel again. One girl invited me straight to her place first date and I was confused. She of course cancelled after giving me her address and I was totally cool with that. We went on a date in public and she said she had an amazing time and couldn’t wait to do it again. Text me the next couple days and then faded away. All the while telling me she wants to see me asap.
I had another who lives 45 minutes away cancel once and reschedule. We were supposed to go to dinner Friday and she cancelled again with another excuse. She then tells me she doesn’t want to commit to anything right now.
I told her again I understand but I didn’t want to marry her or anything crazy I wanted to take her to dinner. That is all.
This again is after she sexts me and sends me nudes and tells me she feels comfortable with me etc…
What the hell is wrong with me. This has happened like 7 times.
Rant over. Thanks.
By. DrBannerPhd
>These women message me. THEY ask for dirty pictures or share theirs first.
There are two kinds of people on POF: Real members and bots. I can’t help but suspect the women you describe are not real members seeking real relationships.
you’ll have a better chance hitting on your local cashier. dump that site. its for desperate men and attention whores. but if you really want to keep using it just go straight to the point, don’t waste time chatting since they’re just going to flake out anyway.
You’re a guy, that’s what;s wrong with you. I’m a 38 year old divorced guy with his shit together and I have the same problems, except I don’t get to the sexting. They seem interested and are eager to meet, then they vanish. No response. I sometimes wonder if it’s just an attention seeking pattern they are in, with no intent to actually meet, or they already have another guy they are on the fence about keeping, or something, but don’t assume straight away that it’s you. It’s 99% likely to be them. Yeah, all of them. All the normal sounding women are either taken or too guarded to risk meeting a potential psycho on the internet. The right one will come along eventually; I’ve beenn told OLD is a numbers game for guys.
Maybe it’s got more to do with the type of women you are chasing? Most women I know in this age group aren’t sending sexual messages to someone before they meet them. That sends a red flag to me, I expect that type is probably interested in picture swapping and dirty talk with no intention of meeting.
Look on the bright side. At least women message you. I have enough trouble getting 1 response out of like every 50 messages I send. In order for the women to message you first, you have to be pretty good looking. So you got that going for you.
[deleted]
I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with you. I think women go on dating sites often for attention/ego boost, not necessarily to actually date.
As a female, I’ve wasted so much time meeting people that I’m not compatible with…I almost wish they had bailed. Online dating can suck.