POF : Q & A for a newbie please
Ok I’m brand new to on-line or any kind of dating , I’m talking 25 yrs here since I last dated met a guy .
I’m 51 and look younger and am in decent shape. I made a profile and to be honest the amount of meet me , and chat requests freaked me out, so I logged out and have been thinking and trying to figure this out.
So I’m not interested in a serious thing right of the bat , but I received a couple of messages that interested me but they said casual fun . Obviously I understand that this is basically no strings attached, but do you go out first ?
At least have a coffee or drink and if your both interested off you go or is it strictly meet up and straight to sex ?
If you could just give me some tips or advice that would be great , it’s been a year since my marriage ended so I think it’s time to give it a go
I also obviously want to stay safe as well so any tips there as well.
By. quincymd1
I think what’s so great about online dating is that you get to create whatever you want.
Personally I just got out of a relationship and I do want fun and casual, but if that’s the first thing they say like « I need a friends with benefits » I pretty much just stay away. I want to be spoken to as a human being not a sexual object, that is a means to an end.
I typically go back and forth for a while, see if there’s any preliminary chemistry via messaging, grab a coffee/drink (if you don’t like them you can drink the drink faster and be on your merry way, instead of waiting out a meal). After meeting them once I pretty much know wether I’d see them again and I just let it play out. If they ask me what I want I’m clear that I don’t jump in to relationships and right now I’m just looking to have fun and I’m not ruling anything out down the line. I met my ex online dating and we « dated » for 8 months before we ever became anything serious.
Don’t get stressed about what’s right and what’s wrong and just have fun. If you get overwhelmed (which I definitely do) I just take a break and turn off the notifications.
Play safe and have fun. Respect others but respect yourself first. Fall in love. Or don’t. It’s all good. Try not to hurt or get hurt, but it might happen. In fact it probably will, but that’s ok. You will make mistakes. Pick your self up, re-assess what you want and then be honest and go get it. Take this and everyone else’s comments with a grain of salt. Except for one point: play safe and have fun. Good luck!
I think these are questions you should be asking the men. Casual generally means no strings attached but it’s good to see what they really mean. Be honest and ask they do the same and not just try to tell you wh as t they think you want to hear.