POF : The carousel
Last month I met a woman and we had a few dates. During some lengthy conversations she talked about how she « meets and fucks » all these guys. She tells me how slutty her friend is (on multiple dating sites) also.
I’m not naive. I know people hook up. However, after talking with her, it gave me the impression that POF is a carousel of fucking, people trading STDs like Pokemon cards, and no depth, love, or real connection.
I haven’t had that experience. Usually I meet someone and it works out for months to years. This is my return after 8 years. Did something change while I was gone?
By. y0ud0ntkn0wm3
sadly youre not going to get a definitive answer because everyone treats the app differently based on locations. im on the east coast near a large metropolitan city. pof in my area is for young men and women looking sugar parents, and older people looking for hookups. also if you have mental issues or problems maintaining a healthy relationship with a person, pof is the goto site.
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tinder is also the hookup app in my area, people laugh at you if youre looking for something real on tinder. tinder is 1-800-bootie-call.
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okc is the only app where i can find some men looking for something real, but its also riddled with everything ive already mentioned.
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the dating culture overall has turned into a huge sexfest. people are no longer challenged or questioned for their rude behavior. it is expected for you to be open casually for sex. so dont be surprised if a guy asks to come over as the first message. dont be surprised if she pushes for fwb. overall, no matter where you are, being casual and non monogamous seems to be goal of most people on dating apps. everyone wants sex while not putting in effort for the relationship, but expects you to do it for them.
I think you may have taken her statement slightly the wrong way. I think women say things like that either thinking that men are lads lads lads and trying to be « one of the guys » and getting it a bit wrong (They often get offensive humour and shock jock stuff very wrong or take it too far IMO). Or thinking that men prefer promiscuous women and again get it a bit wrong by coming out with it as a statement instead of just alluding to being experienced like a properly sexually liberated woman does.
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My most recent ex of about a year would come out with stuff like that quite alot. Stuff like, « I’ve probably fucked like over 40 guys ». When we became more casual she would often make a big show of texting some other guy to let him know we’d just been fucking. Or asking me if i’d have sex with anybody else recently (I always say no, regardless) and then revealing she had. She’d often then come out with something a few minutes after saying stuff like that along the lines of « what, dont you care?, I knew you never loved me, whats wrong with me, why doesnt anybody love me ». Its was basically her wanting validating, either way. I literally couldn’t have cared less which just meant the stories got either more slutty or just depressing.
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On reflection the whole thing was pretty depressing given she did a pretty good impression of being a strong indipendant and ambitious woman when we first started dating. She was none of those things.
I feel lately the dating carousel has changed greatly from meeting someone to making the final show of marriage. I may have some « old school » tendencies which make me the exception in some regard but I feel there is still a ride for everyone in the circus of life.
If all else fails, I can start the latest attraction « Guess how many cats and vibrators one owns? »
I have been on and off pof since 2009. I have had the best luck on POF too, and it amounted to one long term relationship and a short term. I have had better luck on POF than any other site. The reason why POF is so bad right now is because Markus sold to Match and match doesn’t care about POF
I don’t understand. There are REAL people on POF? I thought it was all just bots.
Nothing but the quality of people looking for a actual relationship. Now it’s the normal thing to do, it’s simply a game in some ways.
Usually you have to just take one second and READ the profile. If it says casual dating/no commitment…that means just a hook up/fling. This is a field that must be answered on every profile. I’m sure if she was that open in telling you she « meets & fucks » then it was definitely implied on her profile, she doesn’t come off as the type to beat around the bush.
The problem is, so many ppl just swipe on a pic and start messaging, maaaybe open the profile to look at more pics. But can’t be bothered to actually read about this person you are interested in.
Off of ONE bad date with that woman, you just came to the conclusion that a site is full of STDs? Lol. Maybe using the app isn’t for you. There are others you can try…but pls be sure to read about the person you are interested in and have an actual conversation before meeting.
If your lookin to smash, POF is your website.