POF : Think I dodged a bullet but I’m guilty of how i handled it
So I actually got a date finally on PoF, but all the signs were there that should have told me to stay away. However the girl seemed nice and I didn’t want to write her off and wanted to give her a legit chance. From my earlier post on here I noted that PoF has a poor girl problem, as in alot of them dont have cars. Well, this was one of them. However, she liked the same things i did and she was fairly attractive.
Anyway, we setttled on going on a date last weekend, meet up at the cinema and go from there. However, a change of plans happened and she wanted me to come to her sister’s place. Immediately a red flag went up but I thought, “well her family will be there so maybe it will be ok.” So like an idiot i drove over an hour and a half to her sisters house. What i found unsettled me and made me instantly nope out of there.
She never informed me her sister’s “house” was a mobile home in a disgusting trailer park. With nothing but dirt, piles of garbage and beer cans, and mangy diseased dogs mulling about. I’m in the South so I’ve seen this type of stuff before but even most Southern people avoid these areas if they can. Not trying to be mean to people who are struggling but it does give off an aura of danger. She never informed me of this, and not only that she stated in text that her sister’s trailer was in the very back and was secluded. I panicked, didn’t even enter the trailer park. I turned around, blocked her number and deleted my PoF account a d all dating apps I had. It turned me off completely and scared me away from the online dating scene. Possibly for good. I just spent the rest of the day shopping, so my day wasn’t a total waste.
Did i do the right thing? I know it was kinda cowardly and I know I ghosted majorly on her but I just kept getting weird vibes from the start. I was uncomfortable from the get- go going to her place instead of public area. When i saw the trailer park I felt like I was heading into some kind of trap. (My car is also pretty nice, at least conpared to rusted out and dirty pick up trucks all over the place, and i was dressed nice as well, so i felt like I had a target on my back).
By. TheDarkOZ
Not judging. The « well lit public place » rule is good for everybody. The other party has to respect and be willing to understand the policy if you follow it.
Considering its a rural area and mass transit probably isn’t great, i would consider it reasonable if she was willing to wait at the front of the caravan park to get picked up.
Anyway, i just wanted to add a thought to the « poor girl problem » you describe. As you say: you live in the « middle of nowhere » in « the south ». Are there tons of well paying and dignified jobs for women (or anyone) out there? From your tale, i can extrapolate the setting. The area you live has: farms, trees, caravan parks, maybe a few stores, no mass transit system, probably not a lot in the way of secondary and trades training, and, no careers/jobs in the fields if state colleges and skill mills are there anyway.
Why is she *choosing* to be poor? Why can’t she just get a job at the….uh…..the….just get a job at the…….
Again, i’m not trying to judge you. You made a call based on your gut, and, that is fine. Dating app dates are hit and miss and that goes both ways. She can brush off her dating fail same as the boys are told they should.
From what you describe, your a fluke posh person in an impoverished sparsely populated southern town, and, your ideal partner would be: some one who also happens to be a rare posh person in the impoverished southern town who also happens to be single and who you somehow don’t know already.
Fuck and here I am …. 44F, I have a good job, nice car, own my own home, no kids and I seem to attract the poor men of POF! Single dads really seem to like me… one even asked to borrow money!
To be honest I would have done exactly the same thing as you! Bullet dodged
You did the right thing. You always have to be careful on POF. I remember awhile back I was talking to a guy and we stopped talking and never even met. A few years later he found me on POF again and we started talking again and exchanged numbers. Could not for the life of me remember why we stopped talking the first time, but then after we exchanged numbers (still had not met yet) it all became clear to me why we stopped talking to each other. This guy was a friggin fruit loopy nut case. We text and then he calls me. He proceeds to start an argument with me and say I am being mean and a bitch. He says why am I trying to start a fight with him. I was like im not trying to fight or argue you, im just talking. I was in no way being rude at all. He continues to try and manipulate the situation. Then he hangs up on me. Proceeds to text me that I need to uber to his place right now or else he is going to sleep with the girl from the bank. He had so many issues beyond belief that it scared me. I was home alone that night and I was scared shitless. He said some horrible mean and nasty things to me all because I was not comfortable ubering to his place. I blocked his number and moved on
Dude first off, get off POF and get on a real dating app. POF is a joke these days. 90% of the female profiles on it are fakes and, of the 10% that are real, 90% of those are scammers and/or ghetto trash. No woman you actually want to meet up with is using POF.
Second, if your gut said get the fuck outta here then that was the right choice to make.
Third, never drive more than 30 minutes for a girl unless you live out in the middle of nowhere. It’s rarely worth it.
I always go to a public place but you’re too judgemental for her Imo. You clearly stereotype poor people. I wouldn’t want to date someone like that either because what other prejudices do you have you have to think. Stay with people just like you qlwho are bigoted towards anyone who isn’t like them this way you don’t waste time offend people and present yourself in such a terrible manner
Cool. Then lets You and I go out on a date.
God I hate poverty so much.
Arent the women in big cities kinda stuck up though lol