Dating : Do men really have a preference?
I am a 100% straight woman but have been a big “tomboy” since about 6th grade.
Quick backstory: Started wearing big clothes in response to the criticism received from being so skinny then… it turned into me loving Streetwear type clothing and how good I styled myself. As I got older (current) I don’t wear “baggy” clothing, more so fitted but definitely guy like. Literally, think of the singer Teyana Taylor (that’s me all day). I can admit I have male mannerisms (that I’m legit working to change) such as slouching, sitting legs open, saying things like bro, etc. but I wear lashes, I won’t go outside without my hair done, if I’m going “out” I’m a woman all day with sex appeal. I’m not aggressive but I’m definitely not submissive (I know when to be) I have a dominant/fun personality. I was raised around nothing but men so I adopted their whole shabang unfortunately (rolls eyes)
My question is, it that a deal breaker for men in the long run? Like do men prefer more feminine women for real? I do want to be married, and I know I’d need a dominant man, (Alpha male type to match my dominant personality I guess?)
I get told all the time, don’t change who I am or how I dress for anyone but daaaang. I don’t want to get sappy but I’ve gotten cheated on in past relationships and they’ve always been with equally gorgeous women but they were girly women? Lol. Or I get told I’m a cool homie lol. All the guys I like talk to me like a cool home boy but inside I’m like LOVE MEEEE lmao.
What gives?
Thanks in advance and be well!
Update: didn’t expect all these responses lol. Thank y’all
First off, I agree. Don’t change who you are for someone else. Cause overall, 98% of the time it ain’t worth it. Why try to setup a relationship with someone only to be living a lie and not who you really are.
It’s kind of unclear from your post, but maybe just chill a bit. You’ve said that you probably need a fairly dominant man and that’s fair. But at first, maybe be a little more lax. As the saying goes fake it until you make it. Still be who you are, but maybe pull in the reins a bit. Your probably one hell of a catch, but due to your personality and style you also might accidentally also be intimidating. Again it’s unclear from your post, so I maybe wrong. So apologies if that is the case.
As for if being a tomboy is a deal breaker for men in the long run? I can’t really say, cause I’m biased. I’m a sucker for tomboys.
Honestly I think masculine men prefer more feminine women. I’m not a man but it’s what I’ve noticed again and again. I’ve noticed the more dominant women in my life attract more submissive passive men, whereas the really feminine ones attract more masculine men. I used to be a tomboy like you and once I let myself indulge in my femininity I got a lot more attention and success. I think guys want to feel manly around their partners so a lot go for feminine women.
You can still be yourself with male dominated interests (I have them too) but try to explore what femininity means for you and indulge in it. You don’t have to wear pink or dress girly or have traditionally feminine hobbies to be feminine. You just have to “be.” I realize I acted like a tomboy when I was younger because I had been socialized to believe that femininity wasn’t cool, and felt like I had to be strong and independent because I had been accustomed to being lonely and on my own. A lot of what made me masculine was environmental and related to my childhood, and now I realize I do enjoy being feminine and it’s quite fun. My personality is pretty similar but now I don’t feel the need to be proving myself constantly and can sit back and rest in my femininity. I feel like now that I’m away from the circumstances that made me a tomboy I feel more at home in my body and soul and more feminine.
There are a lot of men who would love to be with a woman with your personality. Men, like women, are diverse and like all kinds of traits.
Lots of guys do want feminine women. Lots of guys don’t care.
But I will say that the « alpha male » types are generally the ones who care more about being with feminine women, at least in my experience.
You don’t have to wear what you don’t want to wear to attract people who like it, but you definitely should wear what the people you want to attract prefer you to wear as long as you are comfortable wearing it. Masculine (not macho, just…not feminine) men usually are attracted by feminine women, so you can rock a feminine style if you want to attract them.
Most guys love girls with a taste in fashion weather it is revealing or not. Since you compare yourself to Teyana, there is almost nothing you have to worry about. Maybe you can try (just once in a while), adding a more feminine touch to your outfit to suprise a few.
Small tip: Being a little open and showing interest in guys can really step things up. Even if start off treating you like a bro, you can slowly change that.
It depends on how masculine your mannerisms or attire is. If it’s enough that someone might believe you are into women it might explain them calling you homie, I usually will call women I precieve as being lesbian homie or dude so that they don’t think I’m trying to get at them. However as far as attractiveness I would say it really varies. I like a little tomboyish nature in women, but my preference is femanine women. But I would date both honestly. It’s really just a type thing.
Wish you luck ✌️
I think of masculine and feminine in terms of energy and all men and women have both. Masculine energy = structure, direction, clarity, rigidity, taking action, ambition, assertiveness, and penetrativeness. Feminine energy = receptivity, softness, openness, flow, being, allowing, vulnerability and creativity. Dial back the masculine energy and activate the feminine energy in a romantic moment to create sexual polarity with your man. No need to dismiss any aspects of who you are, just know what tools to pull out of your toolbox at the right moments 🙂
Probably depends on the guy, personally I’ve always found tomboyish women very sexy but not sure how relevant it is to men in general, I don’t think it works that way
I don’t like overly feminine women but I also don’t like « masculine » women, either. You sound like a nice blend. Easy going, able to handle things without *needing* a man around, but still appreciate the male personality. If that makes any sense at all, lol.
> I do want to be married, and I know I’d need a dominant man, (Alpha male type to match my dominant personality I guess?)
Are you sure? I would be attracted to your personality because I like a woman who knows who she is and is assertive, but because it makes me feel like we can be equals so I don’t have to be in charge of all decisions. That gets tiresome.
The more lady like she dresses the more attractive I find her but I’ll date the whole spectrum as long as it’s not very revealing clothes.