Dating : [21M] Every time things with a girl aren’t going well, I feel hopeless.
Last year I went on my first ever date with a girl. I had fun, and I thought she had fun but she ghosted me and was with another guy shortly after. I was extremely upset over it. After so many years of trying and failing, finally getting a shot at an actual relationship was supposed to be my big win. I took some time off dating after that, it was covid anyway so it’s not like people were going out. I used that time to work on myself and get some things I’ve always wanted to do crossed off the bucket list.
I dipped my toe back in the water this week, and it’s not going good. I downloaded Hinge, matched with literally one girl, messaged for a bit, got the cold shoulder when I tried to move the conversation off Hinge. I know it’s stupid to let this one thing get to me. I know she doesn’t matter. I know that I’m going to be fine. But I don’t *feel* like that. I feel really hurt. I feel pretty hopeless, as if that was literally the last girl on the planet. I know she’s not but I feel as if she is. Basically what I’m trying to say is that the things I know to be true are not matching up at all with my feelings.
I made it a point this time around to stop caring about the outcomes and just letting things be what they may. Like an hour after I was shot down, I was doing just fine. But by like 4 hours later, I was right back to that same old place where I’m obsessively wondering what I did wrong, what I could’ve done different, which thing I said was the one that turned her away, etc.. I’m not sure what to do from here. I don’t want to continue shutting myself off from dating, but I hate feeling like this.