Dating : First meetup after *5 months* of online
Met an amazing guy on OKCupid back in February. We text back and forth all day long, have long phone calls, sext multiple times a week. He lives four hours away. Here we are post-quarantine, post-vaccination, and I’m taking a 4 day trip to a city near him to meet up for the first time. This is either going to be amazing, or a crushing disappointment. I’m trying to focus on being excited instead of nervous, but… GOD I’M SO NERVOUS. If anyone sees this, please just cross your fingers for me.
Also, it’s been a long pandemic, praying I remember how to sex.
Update 1: Thank you all so much for the support! Doing the drive now, and listening to Bo Burham’s Inside to distract from nerves. I’ll update tomorrow after we finally meet up. 🤞
Update 2: The drive wasn’t actually that bad. He’s super excited to meet up tomorrow. I promise I’ll update tomorrow; I won’t pull any of that safe-opening bullshit.
Update 3: WE MET!
Update 4: It took… ages for it not to be weird. I would say like two hours. I’m feeling relieved and excited to be with him. Also, I wore a white dress and it poured rain when we got out. 😂😂. I promised I would update, and I did, and now I’m off to do important things and I will update you tomorrow. ☺️
FINAL UPDATE: Thank you all so much for the support and reassurance. It’s been… really great. Everything definitely still works. 😉 I’m going to go enjoy the fuck out of the next three days. For anyone else about to do this: DO IT! Be safe, but grab life by the cojones and just do it. 🙂
OP, this sounds really exciting! Two things come to mind;
1. Get your own hotel room, have a plan if things don’t work out.
2. Be prepared for him to be romanticized in your mind a bit.
Well, it’s going to be awkward.. but eventually it should feel natural. Just know that he’s as nervous as you are. Don’t force anything or be forced into doing anything you are not comfortable of but do be responsive, engaging, and attentive. Remember, just because you made your 4 hour journey to see him, it doesn’t mean this will be the last time.
I had a similar type situation with my first long term gf. We met on POF, talked every day for seven months prior to our first date. After the first five or so minutes of getting used to talking to someone face to face any awkwardness quickly vanished. Needless to say it was one of my favorite first dates. It turned into a four year long relationship. Wishing you two the best of luck!
Wow 4 days. That’s some commitment for a first meet up
[deleted]
Good luck! My SO and I texted and called every day for two months prior to meeting due to the pandemic. After the first month both of us stopped talking to anyone else on the apps and I was prepared to wait as long as it took for both to be vaccinated to meet up. Somehow as fate would have it we both got vaccinated early March. First date was a little awkward in the beginning. Be prepared for plenty of awkward moments from both sides because of anxiety. There’s a lot of pressure for it to « work » but it might not, and we both knew that going in. It wasn’t « love at first sight », our attraction towards one another grew the more time we spent together. Take things slow, accept that the in person connection MIGHT not happen right away, but remember he’s the same person you’ve gotten to know the past four months. Physical connection can slowly build (and is probably even better that way instead of instant sparks). Wish you guys the best.
I’m excited for you!!
I can’t help but worry, so please text someone else your
location at all times
Good luck, let us know how it goes!!! You have some serious courage for this!
Good luck OP. I relate 100% to this, the long lead in time would make me very nervous as well. Just ask questions if you feel the conversation lulling.
!remindme 2days
It will be great, you’re going to have a fun adventure. And possibly rediscover the sex.
Best wishes. I hope it’s amazing!
Best of luck!
Does OkCupid work?
So despite everything vicarious you’ve been through, including it sounds various video means, the in-person is still initially a mind fuck?
Sounds like it helps if both peeps expect it going in.
You don’t have to sex him if you don’t want. Try to keep low expectations. The likelihood of you being disappointed is near 100%.
From experience I can say the nerves will be there till you finally see him face to face in front of you buuuut if you two do hit it off it will be the most amazing thing ever! When I met my bf and also went to his town for 2 days we were both clear about our expectations and even that there was a chance things wouldn’t work, the fact you two even have a safe word to bail if necessary makes it seem you have talked important aspects. Good luck and hope you two feel amazing with each other!!
As much as I like the sound of it, But why can’t he come up to meet you? I mean there’s nothing bad, but just asking.
Also here for the updates! Fill us in, OP!
Wishing you luck!
Let us know how it goes!
Ohh! Let us know how it went !
Went like 13 months with no relationship/sex because of pandemic. Now I’m with somebody awesome. It’ll come back to you.
How long were you single/celibate?
Good luck!!!!!