Dating : Breaking Up
So I’ve (23 M) been seeing this girl (23 F) that I met on Bumble for 3 months now. We established an official relationship very early, after the third date and I think it may have been a mistake.
I am not really happy when im with her anymore, and the chemistry we had at the beginning is no longer there. She seems more attached to me than I am of her, and I don’t want to hurt her, but I think it’s time we end the relationship.
We are planning to meet tonight at Top Golf as one of our dates. Should I cancel the date all together and talk about breaking up, or should I continue on the date and break up with her afterwards? Any tips on what to do and how to say it in the most gentle way possible?
– Continue the date and have a serious conversation about how she feels about the relationship
– Tell her about what you’re feeling and thinking
– Be in open communication and you might be surprised that you both are feeling the same way, or that she is willing to work on what you feel are issues in your relationship.
– If at the end of the golfing hour or the end of the conversation there is a decision by one of you or the both of you then everyone is on the same page
– Sure it sounds lame going on a date with someone you’re going to break up with but the public setting tends to limit acting out, violence, and generally adds a good ambiance to it all.
– Some people might say you’ll traumatize her and she will always think of your break up going to topgolf. To those people I say that’s what therapy is for!
I wouldn’t break up with her at top golf. Public breakups suck, she might make a scene, would be embarrassing as f**k for both you and her. Just meet her at her place and do it there, then you can just leave right after. So maybe just cancel, ask if you can just come by tonight or tomorrow, and just tell her firmly but gently that you aren’t happy and don’t think you’re compatible, and then leave as soon as you can. If you stick around she’ll think that maybe you guys can work things out, one of you can change or adjust to fit the other person, or things could just get nasty. In and out.
She’ll be hurt and angry with you, and you’ll probably feel like shit, but trust me just do this quick and fast. Don’t drag it on for too long. It’s better this way in the long run for both of you.
Maybe suggest meeting somewhere else like a park or something and just tell her. She will appreciate the honesty and you doing it in person