Dating : help a virgin out about whether being fwb a good idea or not
So, I have gone on a date with a guy and we talked a for a month, then he ended it. After a month of ending things, we first started talking again on hinge, then I texted him and he texted back. We both don’t have bad blood or anything against each other. He clearly said that he doesn’t want to date, but we can hangout, fool around and he would get me if I wanted a good dick or bomb head. I still have some feelings for him and he knows that. In fact he told that I was going to get hurt emotionally and attached. If we partake in sexual activities, Also, he advices me not to get attached. He’s been very honest to the point it surprises me how a guy can be that honest with someone that he doesn’t know very well ever since we initially started talking. I’m still a virgin, but I get those urges to have sex with him. I’m currently in a limbo and lowkey it’s making go crazy because idk what to do. I’ve never been that attracted to other guys before (I went to division 1 university and was approached by athletes from teams including football, track, and baseball) I don’t have a six pack, but work at least 5x a week. My legs are very defined, which makes my butt look pretty bubbly and my arms are somewhat jacked for being a 23 year old girl. I appreciate any suggestions/advice/tips.
NO.
If you want to lose your virginity, or keep it either way that’s fine. But you don’t seem like you’re fully comfortable with it and are into it mainly because you like the guy. He has been honest with you and said he doesn’t want to date, and that seems like what you want. If you have sex with him, because you like him when he doesn’t share those feelings, especially your first time, you are going to get hurt.
FWB usually ends badly. Human beings are genetically built to bond from sexual activity. Usually one or both (but usually just one) develop feelings, while the other one does not (or at least not the same rate), and it all blows up with drama. It is kind of the same problem with men and women trying to be platonic « buddies » but with more intensity.
>I still have some feelings for him and he knows that. In fact he told that I was going to get hurt emotionally and attached.
And he’s 100% right if you have feelings for him. Don’t go there. There’s plenty of other guys out there who are into relationships, there’s no need to rush.
Guaranteed you’ll [feel] like shit afterward because you’ll be flooded with oxytocin and he’ll not be interested in reciprocating. Then you’ll regret your decision to lose it to him, which you can’t take back.
edit: a word that completely changes the entire sentence.
Gonna go with no here. Don’t if you aren’t fully comfortable with this, especially if he wants it to stay FWB. You can get attached to anyone even if you don’t think it, and especially so when sex is happening. If you aren’t fully comfortable with being FWB, don’t. Since he doesn’t want to date, and doesn’t share the same feelings, you are going to, in some way, end up hurt.
Yeah don’t. Loose it with someone who loves you. He is telling you the truth. You will get hurt. You have feelings and so having sex with him will leave you wanting more. And you can’t get it. And you just gave up a very important moment to him which will just be a casual bang for him.
If you like him, go for it.
Don’t do it. FWB relationships are for reprobates and they end up coming onto reddit subforums and asking about how to deal with all the problems created by their FWB relationship. Find a real boyfriend instead.