Dating : Rundown after date 3
Friends,
Been seeing someone for a month now. We’ve had 3 dates. After date 3 did the deed. I get good vibes when we hang out, quality conversation and time together. My issue is she has never once texted me first. It’s frustrating.
To add, she wanted to take things slow because she got out of a super long relationship last year. « Doesn’t know what she wants exactly » yet. Which is fine , but I would atleast like to know if we are exclusive. Even before getting to that question, I need to get a reason why she Never texts me first.
I’m okay with taking things slow. But I don’t like going several days with no conversation. I’m withholding reach out because I don’t want to look desperate.
Is this doomed?
[deleted]
Whoa, slow down there buddy.
You had 3 dates, and you did the deed, and you both have had quality conversations together, I presume?
I never understood why people get so enamored with texts.
Does it matter who texts first? Some people are just bad at it, or just uncomfortable. If she’s replying and having a conversation with you, I don’t think that matters. I think you’re having higher expectations when she already stated off the bat that she wants to take it slow. That means she’s not going to want to be your girlfriend until the time is ready. If your needs aren’t being met, then you’re going to have wait a few weeks and really think if you want something serious with the comprehension that she doesn’t. AKA – Breaking it off with her, because you’re not getting the desired response/attention you wanted.
You need to take a step back and evaluate and see it through her shoes. She just got out of a super long relationship. How long ago was that? You sure you’re not the rebound?
As for several days with no conversation, I mean… You said it yourself, she doesn’t text you back, but over time when she’s comfortable enough to be serious, I’m sure she will.
Let the time apart build some absence grows fonder, and relax. Like she said, she wants things slow. Build that trust and strengthen the relationship.
So no, this isn’t doomed. Don’t feel desperate, don’t feel upset, see it from her perspective.
“Doesn’t know what she wants exactly”
Going to waste your time
I know what it’s like after being in a relationship that was 11 years long. She is not going to be exclusive until she wants to be. If you try to push for that, she will walk away. So if it isn’t a good fit for you don’t go any further. It could take 2 years dude.
Well, for all I know she could be the kind of girl who « I don’t text first cuz girls don’t text first ».
You shouldn’t make yourself look desperate for sure, just go on with your life, hobbies, friends etc. because it will make you very attractive in her eyes. But you could ask her if you are exclusive or not, cuz you are suspended now and too hooked up on one girl (her), which if you are not exclusive will destroy her attraction.
Who gives a shit about texting if shes willing to hang out? That’s all that matters. Texting matters to high school kids