Dating : I want to date but don’t want to meet anybody?

Dating : I want to date but don’t want to meet anybody?

I’m 27 and I want to start dating. I can’t really say I’ve ever been on a real date. In the past I used to just meet woman while I was out and at parties and classes and things like that, just through natural chance of meeting, I would never really approach and hit on anyone, but I was also very stubborn . I haven’t had a real relationship in probably 8 years, everything has been mostly drunk hookups or just talking to a girl for a couple weeks that I was hooking up with. Well now I don’t go out much anymore, don’t really drink, and friends stay in their group and don’t mingle with any other groups giving me opportunities to meet anyone easily . I am forced to approach woman or use dating apps.

..But here’s the problem
I really do not want to have a conversation with anyone . Weather it be in person or online. I have gotten over the anxiety of doing it (for the most part , even though I’ve never really done it yet) but the thing is I still avoid it because I really have nothing to talk about .I have had moments where I worked up my confidence and bailed out because after I thought about it , if she were interested , now I have to sit there and talk to her and eventually talk more and hang out .

The whole things seems like such a burden, especially if it was just for a hookup, but I suppose it has to be done. But I do not want to talk about myself and I really don’t care what she has to say either . I don’t even know what I would do on a date , I’m not a big food person and the idea of a dinner date sounds awful. Sitting at a bar talking does not sound enjoyable. I can’t imagine anything I would consider fun with a stranger I’m meeting for the first time and trying to impress her. Maybe deep down this is just an excuse to avoid doing it because I’m really just afraid ? But I don’t think that is the case. Maybe I am not interested because I am just looking for a hookup? I am really looking for some hookups because it’s been a while but I also do want a relationship , and in both cases I still do not want to go through the process of having bs small talk with a stranger . If I was already interested because I met her before and have a crush that’s a different story, but that is not the case with random woman you see at a bar or meet on an app. It just seems like a huge headache to have to play the game of thinking what to say next constantly to keep them interested , especially when I am exhausted from working all day ( which is not the case at the moment because I’m out of work, but doesn’t make it much easier although I am trying to take advantage of it ) . I am not really an anti social person or shy but I am a little more reserved and don’t really like having small talk with anyone most of the time but it does depend on my mood . Maybe these excuses I make are me procrastinating ?Perhaps it’s my marijuana use? I have done some experiments going on and off and seem to find it helps when I smoke less but I have to keep doing those trials . I know this all sounds very negative lol but even in the best of moods I feel this way. I just got back from vacation last week and talked to someone on bumble , which they initiated , I was excited to try this and even hang out then I slowly answered less and don’t want to answer or ask her to hangout anymore . Maybe my stress came back after vacation ?
Any advice ?