Dating : Does depression change how you feel about someone?
Hey, I have a quick question. A girl I’ve been seeing for almost two months now suffers from depressive phases/episodes from time to time.
Over the past few days, she made all sorts of plans with me: she wanted to meet my friends today, wanted to have a romantic dinner yesterday and told me she’s convinced that a relationship between us could work.
Yesterday, she began having a depressive episode again. Despite that, she invited me to come over to her place late at night, just to cuddle a bit and hold her in my arms. But when I left today in the morning and wrote her I enjoyed spending the time with her, she answered that she just can’t develop feelings for me no matter how hard she tries and cancelled the meeting with my friends.
I was wondering if these sudden changes may be a consequence of her depression or if depression doesn’t usually work that way.
Depression changes how you feel. And if you can feel. And when you feel. And what you feel during those occasions when you do feel. So in answer to your question, yes.
Just be there for her.
Keep being there for her.
If what you say is « phases » and « episodes » then merely it is just temporary.
Just give it time and then eventually you’ll be able to do the things she wants to do.
I suggest taking baby steps and not slam her with the whole thing.
It does indeed. When I was depressed I felt like a burden to be around, I couldn’t even like myself so why would other people like me? I thought it was better to just isolate and do everybody a favor.
It takes time and a lot of effort to get over it, but it’s possible. Tell her you don’t want to pressure her to feel a certain way or to do something she doesn’t want to do, but that if she wants something you will be around.
Maybe even bipolar?
Be there for her but be careful not to become a sponge and become depressed too
Also be careful about her not using you as a shoulder to cry on; Being nice to her is awesome but you don’t owe her anything!
Good luck 🙂
It can, I’ve noticed that in women it generally does.
It can. Just ride it out if you love her enough to. I suffer from the same thing and it does affect how I feel about the one I’m with
Urgh I do this. I literally feel sorry for everyone who comes into my life having to deal with this shit.
It absolutely can. Maybe she wants to like you but doesn’t, or maybe the depression is attempting to destroy the feelings she’s trying to have for you. Try hanging out with her a little more, just hang in there for a bit, and see where it goes. If she does things that truly look like she likes you despite what she may not be able to feel, then perhaps she does care for you. Depression is a hard thing to deal with and please don’t just brush it off. Depressed people thoroughly enjoy the company of people they love, even though they don’t act like it. Depression is destructive to the emotions, understand this, please.
Yup, and it sucks when ya getting to like someone then boom. Depression is like fuck you
I’m a 26 year old female who has been suffering severe depression basically since she has been a child now and I would like to share my experience with you.
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When you are in a lot of physical pain, your body eventually numbs down, you won’t feel the pain anymore. The same happens on an emotional level. A moment after you feel like you’re suffocating, you end up hiding and feeling empty and numb. During that time, most feel alone as well as ashamed of themselves.
Yes, it will change how she feels about you drastically – she won’t hate you, but she will feel empty and a lack of emotions. It never is permanent though. Depression is not the same as losing interest in someone, but a general emotional numbness.
The best you can do is showing her you are there to support her and offer her she can come to you if she wants to talk.
That is what I, and many depressed people, have often missed in a partner. And that definitely would make you a keeper.