Dating : Finally worked up the courage to ask my gym crush if he’s single! He isn’t…
TL;DR: I, the shy girl (27) who never makes the first move, finally asked my crush if he is single. He’s not but was really cool about it, and I’m at least proud that I put myself out there for once.
So a guy joined my gym four months ago, and immediately, I had the biggest crush on him. A few weeks ago, I asked the gym owners if they knew if he was single or not, and they got super excited because « they called it » and « could totally see us together ». They didn’t think he was seeing anyone, and they talked « us » up so much that I got excited that maybe the feelings weren’t only one sided (he’s out of my league IMO, so them thinking it was a good match gave me butterflies…yes, it sounds like I’m in middle school…)
Since then, I’ve been agonizing over finding the perfect moment to ask this guy out, but I’ve never been the one to act on my feelings. Usually I wait for my crush to talk to me and if he doesn’t, then nothing ever comes of it. In this case, he’s also a pretty quiet guy, so I figured I’d have to act first or some other girl would.
Tonight I finally worked up the courage to do something I’ve never done before, and after our gym class, I straight up asked him if he was single. He isn’t.
BUT like the sweet guy he is, he was really nice about it, and we continued to talk for a few more minutes like everything was normal. So while I don’t get the guy, I’ll take tonight as a win since I went waaay out of my comfort zone.
However, now my emotions are all over the place, and as a typical lurker on Reddit (this is my first post), I’m hoping writing this will help me get over the disappointment of missing out on a really cool guy.
Many thanks if you’ve made it this far!
Pretty good you took out time to write this.
This is actually a win for you in taking the boldness to express yourself
Drown the disappointment in pride and newfound confidence for leaping way out of your comfort zone. And don’t forget to do it all over again so you can make your dating life happen instead of having to wait for others (men) to make it happen for you. You got this!
Welcome to the club. I have the same problem with every woman I approach. They ALL have boyfriends…
Pretty good you took out time to write this.
This is actually a win for you in taking the boldness to express yourself
At least you tried
Good for you!! By the way there are tons of cool guys everywhere you’ll get one before to long.
hell yeah! I asked my (front desk guy) gym crush out once and he was really taken aback and told me about his gf of 3 years
I applaud your bravery AND your mindset (in how your handled his lack of singleness). Be proud. You know what to do the next time your’re interested in a guy!
The first time is always the hardest, with everything. Had the same reaction when I was turned down first time. In the end it didn’t hurt at all compared to the state of uncertainty that existed before. Also considered it as a win, at least now I know I can get the message across.
Good for you! I’ve been eyeing this girl at my gym that I just joined earlier this year, but I definitely don’t have the confidence to walk up and ask her. We have exchanged a few glances but it could easily just be her being friendly as she seems to be a regular and talks to a lot of people. Also, a girl I was recently seeing broke up with me because I was head over heels for her and she didn’t feel anything for me so that affected my self-esteem and confidence a lot. Perhaps later this year once I get into even better shape I’ll work up the courage to at least introduce myself. Stories like this definitely help though. Even if the desired outcome wasn’t what you wanted, at least you tried!
Going out of your comfort zone is always a win, I’m happy for you! It’s always better to express your feelings (win or lose) than imagining “what if…” for the rest of your life.
You could still have a gym affair. It’s common.
He was actually single.
He was actually single but he thought you were ugly.
Should of flashed him after he said no. And said « what about now? »