Dating : I do not know what to make out of this, too overwhelmed …

Dating : I do not know what to make out of this, too overwhelmed …

I dated someone for 1.5 years. We were having issues in our relationship and I wanted to work through them but I felt pressured into getting engaged when I was not ready given the circumstances. She broke up with me claiming I was non-committal. Two months later she started reaching out to me via text. We would chat casually until two days ago when she asked if she could stop by my place since she was in the neighborhood.

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She stopped by, we chatted, I asked if she was seeing someone to which she replied she was « hanging out » with someone just as friends. A virgin who she claimed wanted to wait until marriage and she felt comfortable hanging out since she did not feel pressured to have sex. She said she felt lonely and wanted to have a « friend », fair enough. She said they just kissed, nothing more.

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She did admit she felt lonely, lacked affection and was not happy. She said she was craving intimacy. We did end up having sex. The guy started blowing up her phone in the morning, she called him back and told him what had happened and he told her he did not care to see her anymore.

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This is where it gets f_ked up. While she was sleeping, i was watching TV and noticed that she had left her phone on the couch. I snooped around and checked her texts and saw photos of her engaging in oral sex, mutual masturbation, photos of him ejaculating on her private parts, back, stomach, etc. no penetration, at least i did not find any, but regardless I was seriously disturbed, not so much by the fact that she was doing this, but by the fact that there were at least 20 photos over a period of several days that she must have taken using her camera and sent over to him via text,

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What I find even more disturbing is the fact that she left me two months before saying she wanted to find someone « serious » and be married and was not going to waste her time on anyone who was not serious and while she was at my place and right before we hooked up she confessed how she thought this guy was not her match and she never saw him as her long term partner and just used him to fill the loneliness gap.

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She would tell me during our relationship how sex was something very personal to her and intimacy that she i shared was something she valued so much. I guess I am disappointed that apparently it means nothing and she lied and she did all this with someone she met only two weeks after leaving me.

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I did bring this up during our conversation over the phone and she said she was sorry i saw these pictures and she wished she could do something about them but claimed she loved me and asked if i could look past these to give us another chance. I honestly would not have cared if i just found out that she had sex but the photo sessions are something I do not think I can get over with. She claimed he just requested these photos to be taken and quite frankly I just felt disappointed that she send over all these photos over to this man she barely knew not caring where these photos may end up.

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I am not exactly sure whether this was right or wrong per se on her part, but I honestly felt it was uncalled for and reckless and the fact that she downplayed this whole thing in light of the whole situation and the circumstances made my heart sink.

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I do not know whether I can trust this woman about anything and i feel like she fked me over and i feel deceived somehow and this whole thing made me realize how she cheapened the whole intimacy she claimed meant something dear to her.

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any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I do not know whether i over exaggerating this and am childish/immature but i feel hurt! and i do not know whether i should move on and if i do, i do not even know if she did anything objectively wrong, cause technically she never cheated on me.