Dating : I fucked up so badly
So I saw this person for a week. We hit it off really well, we talked so much and he admitted to liking me after our first date.
After our second date I got a really strong gut feeling he was no longer into me. So I texted him and asked, and he said that he likes me more as a friend and something is telling him not to be intimate.
Instead of SO many other alternatives I reacted in such an emotional way. I told him I can’t be just friends (he genuinely wanted to still be friends). And I told him I’d rather just not talk anymore.
Afterwards I regretted it, and I sent him a text in a game (LoL) explaining that I reacted so strongly, and I came on way too strongly. I explained that if he does think there might be a thing, with no pressure, we could still give it a shot. He didn’t reply for a couple of days, so I sent him another text explaining that if he wants we could chat again and to add me on Snapchat and Discord because we connected so much I can’t cut it off. He didn’t reply for a couple of days so I texted AGAIN venting about my own shame that I’m reacting so emotionally, and I’m coming off as a very insecure and clingy person and I’m in a spiral where I don’t know how fix our connection or how he probably perceives me now.
Honestly I feel like so much shit that I came off so horribly, I genuinely thought I had outgrown all this emotional reaction. Who knows what he thinks of me now and I feel so so so awful about it. Plus I feel so much regret that I never gave friendship a shot and gave him a chance for BOTH of us to see if we’d be compatible to date.
I’m really really sad and hurt about this, it’s crippling and it’s eating me up. What should I do?
Stop messaging him.
Yikes. As a guy on the other end of these messages in a similar situation. Stop messaging him. You aren’t building a better case to be let back in socially and definitely not romantically or whatever tf I dunno I’m high as hell but god damn, girl conduct yourself with some couth. Pull yourself together!
That’s why being needy or clingy is so toxic, whether a guy or girl. It only escalates and drives the person away more. And as they pull away, you get more obsessive, till you can’t stop.
Try to really understand how toxic this behavior is and try to understand where it comes from and how you can work to prevent it in future interactions.
It’s like approaching a dog. The dog shows interest and seems happy to see you. You hold out your hand and it shy away. You take a step forward and it retreats a little. You take another step, telling it it’s ok, but it retreats. You start walking towards it and it runs. You yell at it to get back here, which scares it so it bolts, while you are chasing it screaming that your a good person.
That is neediness in a relationship.
Sorry this happened, but if you learn from it, it can be worth it.
Take care.
Yep, definitely stop messaging him, at least for a while until you have less of an emotional reactions towards the situation
Well, first of all your initial reaction was correct. You probably can’t be just friends with him bc you feel a romantic connection. Your second two texts are a reaction to the fact that you pretty much cut him off and now you think that just maybe a romantic connection could’ve developed from a friendship (highly unlikely.) Not hearing from after that made you panic and offer said friendship again.
Not a good look. Learn from your mistakes — we all have them — and let this guy go.