Dating : I kissed her and it got awkward. What do I do?
Just for context, I’m a 52 yo straight male, in the USA. I recently started dating again after breaking up from a 2 year relationship, which was preceded by a 14 year marriage (fyi, not the same woman in case there was any question.) I have never been good at dating dynamics — *especially* in the early stages. It can be extremely frustrating hearing nothing but good things and then getting ghosted.
Just yesterday I went on a date with a woman and I hope you guys can give me some advice. Now this particular one has some backstory. Three years ago, between the marriage ending and the 2-year relationship, this woman (call her Jan) and I matched on Bumble. We went out one time. It was nice, no fireworks or anything but she was attractive and we seemed to get along well. But it was just one date and then I fell in with Patty (2 year woman). While with Patty, Jan actually messaged me on FB about a year after that one date asking if I were single and then saying « Well I guess I missed out » when I didn’t respond (I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure who it was and Patty would get CRAZY jealous if she heard I messaged a woman). Fast forward to last week when I got a new notice from bumble (I had canceled my account when I got involved with Patty) that Jan had liked me — again. I liked her back and we started chatting. Then we went on this date yesterday. It was super casual. We laughed about the situation. Had some nice conversation, yadda yadda yadda. I like her. I think she’s extremely attractive. I think *she* thinks I’m attractive. I mean, why else would she match me twice 3 years apart *AND* message me on FB out of the blue?? After about 1.5 hrs, she says she needs to go talk to her daughter. I ask if I can walk her to her car and she agrees. At the car, she turns, holds her arms out and I go in for a kiss. I then go for tongue. She is clearly a little shocked. She didn’t exactly object, but she certainly didn’t get into it, either. I pull back and apologize and she says, « You’re ok, » and puts her hand on my arm. We say good bye and she leaves.
OK: WTF was that? Was I out of line with a passionate kiss? I guess I tried to move too fast. Do you think I blew it? Should I even bring it up in messages or anything? Again, I’m super awkward with dating.
TL;DR – Woman who I dated once 3 years ago, sought me out unsuccessfully two years ago, then matched me last week. Had a date and I tried to tongue kiss her but she wasn’t ready for that. Did I fuck it up?
the tongue would be too much for me, and from what you describe, was too much for her as well. liking you and wanting to get to know you doesn’t mean she was ready to move fast.
You’re fine man. Do NOT bring it up though.
You pushed the envelope a bit and she pushed back, but she wasn’t offended. Ask her out again, she will likely say yes. If she says no it isn’t because of the tongue.
Specifically I say you didn’t mess up imo. If she matched a second time then I feel she was saying she wanted to move forward with you. If she wasn’t into it, then I assume not into you as much as you are into her.
Also, let her make the next move. That will answer your question.