Dating : Is Effort a Good Thing
If a guy makes a lot of time and effort and travels a little over an hour to meet with you on multiple occasions, is he being sweet and cares for and respects you or is he desperate? How to tell?
in Dating
If a guy makes a lot of time and effort and travels a little over an hour to meet with you on multiple occasions, is he being sweet and cares for and respects you or is he desperate? How to tell?
Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.
To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.
AcceptHere you'll find all collections you've created before.
*Guy travels for a date set in another city*
« He mUsT bE dEsPeRaTe!1!1! »
I have multiple coworkers who commute over an hour to and from work every single day. Traveling an hour for love is a cake walk. Maybe appreciate the effort he is putting into you.
i hate when guys pay attention to me and like me. must have no life.
/s
Could be anything. Give it a bit more time if you like him, maybe you’re just that special. Maybe he’s used to the distance (I’m used to driving that far for things).
There is a chance he just really wants to sleep with you, but if you like him you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Dont ruin a potentially good thing by being paranoid, unless hes actively trying to pressure you to sleep with him or pushing the issue.
He’s expecting booty for his efforts.
Sounds like he is in to you.
If I’m interested in him, I’d find it really sweet and endearing.
Overall, it just depends if you come across desperate (really wanting it to work out without getting to know her first). It depends on how you meet. If it’s online dating and you have never met, it depends on your conversation. If you’ve been having a nice back and forth, and clearly have a life outside of the relationship, it’s not desperate. But, if you have a life and re-arrange your life just to fit her schedule, it can seem a little desperate if you haven’t met yet AND she hasn’t expressed the same level of enthusiasm (but this part is tricky, since not everyone likes interacting with their phones).If you’re not tied to an outcome, then it won’t come across as desperate. If you really want it to work out and are putting a lot of hope into it, it can come across as desperate.
Examples:
**Guy A** I matched with on Bumble lived about 90 km away and was willing to meet. He didn’t come across as desperate at all, since it seemed like he didn’t mind the drive and it was a « norm » for him to drive long distances (he lives out in the country while I’m in the city). The convo was light and fun, and he clearly had a life that he enjoyed. His strategy on Bumble was to keep the convo light and fun and keep serious convo’s/getting to know you convo’s for IRL – which I really liked.
**Guy B** I matched with on Bumble and lived about 5 km away, but came across as desperate when it seemed like he was really pushing for a dating situationship/relationship when we hadn’t even met in IRL yet. He was a very busy person, and although it’s considerate and endearing for him to want to rearrange his schedule for me to meet up, it just seemed like too much too soon. His dating strategy seemed to be: show how « busy » he is through text and text lots throughout the day.
When a guy expresses how « busy » he is, I begin to lose interest (must be the times I got faded getting to me lol). Everyone is busy. Instead of saying, « I’m busy during this day and that day/this time and that time, » I find it much more attractive when a guy says « I’m free during these times. » I know it means the same thing, but subconsciously, one just has a more negative connotation to it than the other. It’s less work for us to plan shit, since I don’t need to know when you’re busy, I just need to know when you’re free lol.
TL;DR: You shouldn’t have to move mountains prior to meeting someone unless you want to and are unattached to any outcome. Basically, you do you and that’s what comes across as attractive.
Not initially because it shows you’re needy, but after you seal the deal, then yes because it shows you care. People are weird and suck.