Dating : It’s taking a toll on me mentally, I more than just like her, and she likes me back but she hss commitment issues

Dating : It’s taking a toll on me mentally, I more than just like her, and she likes me back but she hss commitment issues

To start off, my mental health has never been in a good place, I’ve been constantly working on it to keep it in check and the best solution I found was to ignore my emotions and not feel anything.

I met this girl, I liked her but I ignored it cause that’s what I do, we became friends and I confessed to her. She liked me back, and since then it’s been a little difficult. She has some issues from her last relationship (ended over 7 months ago), and her problem is being committed.

She asked for time at first (via text) , to figure things out without telling me her issues, I said okay, two days later she met me again in real life and said she felt bad for asking via text so asked me in real life again. I didn’t say okay at first and suggested she can deal with her issues being together or at least talk to me about it so I can understand.

I told her waiting will be hard for me, not because I want to see other girls, but because not talking to her won’t be good. (Especially since a few days before that, when she brought up the topic of just staying friends, I gave up and told her it was her choice but I can by no means promise that I can be friends with her after that, and she decided to stay.) At the end of that day I accepted that I will wait and she can take time to figure things out.

The same day I get a text message asking whether we can try something casual instead of serious. I said I’ll talk to her about it in real life the next day and she asks me to forget it because her friend typed it (she was talking about us and wanted to make a decision)

The next day, when I met her, I gave her two different choices she can make, both of which I was okay with. She can either take her time, and I’ll wait but whatever decision she makes, she’ll have to tell me in real life. I’ll refrain from contacting her in any means until she contacts me.

Second one was trying something casual, I told her for me I wanted a serious relationship, but if she’s scared, she can take it casually for a few months until she figures things out.

She had a hard time choosing. She did tell me about her issues after that, and like I guessed it was because she was afraid of commitment and going through all the heartbreak again. She chose to be with me whole she figured and at the same time if she feels overwhelmed would probably ignore me for a day or two. (yeah she said that)

I’m not sure how to assure her that I won’t leave her at the time she needs me like her ex did.

Today she is proabably ignoring me, I am not going to text her back until she texts me, but this is taking a mental toll on me cause I don’t want her to think I gave up on her. I feel like calling her later, and telling her that I didn’t text anything back because I’m giving her the space she asked for.

It is hard I accept, but looking past her issues, she’s one of the best person I’ve met in my life, and I love her (obviously can’t tell her that for now). I can keep myself occupied with work and college but it doesn’t feel good when I’m feeling emotional. I don’t like feeling emotional.

Tldr: Girlfriend likes me, wants to be with me at the same time needs space, but scared of commitment. What are the things I can do to help her?