Dating : Just want someone to actually like me
I wish I could find someone who actually liked me as a person. Liked my personality, actually wanted to talk to me and get to know me. Not just pretending to be interested or pretending to care about me just to sleep with me. For once I’d like someone to see me as something other than “easy”. I feel so worthless. It hurts so fucking bad.
I wanna be really, honestly loved again but it feels like it’s never gonna happen.
Can I ask who are the type of people you’ve tried dating in the past and how did you they act and why you chose them to date?
As a guy I going to suggest that you stop using tinder to try and find something serious. Tinder is marketed as a place to find a partner but our culture has made it into a place where majority guys and some girls go on to try and hook up. If you continue to use tinder And other dating apps expect to be let down more because most guys just want to hook up and leave and they will do what ever it takes to do even if it mean they have to pretend they are interested. I suggest you try finding club/activity to do and meet guys in real life because if you meet them in real life first that can’t be fake like how they can be online where it’s basically impossible what person true motivation are. So first meet people in real life through hobbies and clubs or even approach people at parks or places like that so you have the advantage of being able to read their body language and knowing their vibe and real self
if you do decide to keep trying online apps and things like that I suggest being straight forward and also not sleeping with the guy for a long period of time because if they don’t truly like you for you they won’t stick around for a month or few trying to make conversation and connection they we most likely move on to the next person
But yeah that my best advice for you wish you luck I’m on a similar journey my self but from the other perspective lol feel free to ask more questions hope I can help you out
so… don’t sleep with them?
If you don’t mind my asking… How old are you and how old are these guys?
I highly suggest you watch this TED talk. It really changed my perspective. Moving forward, I’m not going to sleep with a man until he’s expressed some sort of commitment to me.
Here’s the link to the talk:
https://youtu.be/eyq2Wo4eUDg
You will learn how to filter people but unfortunately you will have to meet the bad ones first or at least this is how it worked for me. You will get there, don’t make it too obvious about what you want from someone, play it hard to get but keep it cool and polite and the right person will fall into your arms.
I know that feeling. As much as it sucks for now, the best thing you can do is discover yourself and then look at people you like based on their personality and flock to them.
Pay zero attention to people that refuse to actually know you.
I’m a girl and i feel this so hard. Last week a guy who seemed interested in a relationship, had been calling me on ft everyday, asking questions about my family and life in general and just being really sweet kinda ghosted me after a while and when i asked him about it he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I got kinda emotionally invested because i’m used to guys looking for sex being straight forward and not trying to get to know me that much.
One thing I’ve been focusing on lately is how people say that when you aren’t looking for something it’ll come to you. A lot of people on tinder have a notion that it is just for sex and aren’t open to the opportunity for more. Thats why its best to meet somebody in person. I hate the double standard around hookups when you try to have casual sex as a woman often they look at you as a hoe when they doing the same damn thing. It’s hard but i think you need to really limit your expectations of people on dating apps because you will get disappointed. Or just delete the apps for a while and focus on yourself.
Also i’d recommend straight up asking somebody their intentions early on if you chose to use dating apps and aren’t interested in hookups.
Tinder has a bit of a reputation for catering to the shallow end of the dating pool.
The one time I tried it, I think I got solicited by a sex worker. For « five roses » she’d do such and such. It was weird and gross. Deleted my account within 24 hours.
Stay off the internet for dating. There is nothing there for you.
Once your mind and body are cleared of the pollution from OLD, you will be able to open your mind and heart to actual IRL humans.
Watch for the signs of attraction and respond to them. If you like someone IRL, make your move. People are far more kind about rejecting a person face-to-face. There is still rejection but be as confident as possible.
Good luck and I hope you meet someone special.
Some tips for you, because I’ve had this issue in the past. I would wait until I’m in a relationship with that person and an emotional connection has been established and we really bonded. Like, it’s so obvious that there are sparks from both sides type. This has worked pretty well for me. I hope it does for you as well. 🙂
> For once I’d like someone to see me as something other than “easy”.
This is entirely within your control. Don’t be easy and people will not see you as easy.
i super recently entered a relationship after feeling this way for a long, long time. i was always the fucked up one, i always liked men more than they me, i always fell too hard and too fast, etc. i met my partner 55 days ago and everything has changed. he is everything, absolutely everything i could want in a partner. there’s something to be said of feeling like a white crayon- you just have to find someone who uses black paper, my friend.
Shout out to all the dudes reading this thread that feel the same way but get discouraged because of all the work you have to put in to just talk to women.
Dating apps make the competition HARD.
Even when you do match people don’t give back the effort you put in, just leave them and move on.
You are worth more and you deserve better!
If you look at yourself as valuable and do t give yourself to just anyone then the person that finds you will be the luckiest person alive!
Well it is tinder…where the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.
Statistically the guys you are probably aiming for have the attention of 3 other girls just like you.
They have plenty of other matches. Sorry.
Love yourself first before you seek someone to love you.
I feel kinda similar to you, but I’m male so it’s not the same. I’ve never really met someone who I properly connect with personally, mainly because I’m awful at proper conversations and all that. If I’m looking for a relationship, I’m desperately settling for someone I simply think is attractive, rather than seeing them for how we are together.
Same boat. I am able to talk to almost anyone and everyone likes me but no one wants to date me.
I feel the same way
That hit me in the feels, haven’t had a girlfriend since I was 12. I’m 20 today. Haven’t had anyone interested in getting to know me/ wanting to date me for a very long time. Idk if it’s me but it’s really depressing.
Wish I could find a woman like you! All I get are the ones crazy about sex. I feel your pain. I’m still a virgin though, i really want to save that for my wife. I get so lonely and so desperate and I almost lost it for nothing. Now I’m not quite the same but I still hope to find someone who wants me. Just keep going, you’ll find him. Hes out there.
Dont give it up so easy if u like someone make them wait before u sleep with them x
We are on the same boat, girl.
God I miss people actually liking me back. I feel so jaded these days
I’m with ya, hang in there
In this case you need to signal what you want. In the nicest way possible if the title/post is repeating itself throughout the course of your life you may need to take a look at what you are signalling off as 99.9% of the time that is what will come back.
Respect yourself and others will respect you! Its helped me a bunch
Preach.
I’ve dated a few girls over the past 3 years but it never really clicked as well as I hoped it would. At the time, I though we did click, but then I found out they weren’t that interested in me after all.
There have been some moment where it was just easy being together with a girl, watching a movie on the couch or something simple. I miss moment like that.
I’ve slept with a lot of people and didn’t view sex as something special. I’m finally now realizing that it is special and going to treat it as such. I love to hear that a man is willing to wait until commitment and any girl that doesn’t think that’s awesome is not worth your time.
If it helps, not all men are the same. I’m stupidly loyal and will learn to love my SO as best as I can. It’s hard to find someone to connect with, so I feel strongly that every effort should be put in to keep them.
sigh…
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I have a friend. She wants this exact same thing. I will tell you what I told her.
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First you must love yourself. This is not always easy.
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Second, you must be open to loving others as they are. If you have double standards for others then you hypocrisy will eventually be found out and you will have hurt two people in the process.
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Finally, accept that every relationship is about compromise. There will be things about others that you do not like. But there will be things about you that others do no like as well. Let these things go and instead focus on the good and make efforts to give the more positive aspects of yourself to others and watch others do the same for you.
I used to be one of those guys. Not proud of it and trully never thought I was hurting anybody until years later when I heard a story about how I affected somebody’s friend.
That was college, I’ve grown up sonce then and started only dating with good intentions. However, it’s almost impossible to find anything real because of all the hurt people have gone through. It understandably has caused most to become jaded.
Know that there are good people with honest intentions and be open when they come into your life..
At least you can get someone to sleep with you, or chat with you…
Well yea attractive dudes with options dont commit
Maybe they do and all your negative thoughts are in your head. Us dudes have a biological clock telling us to fuck. There’s nothing we can do about it. But that doesn’t mean that’s all we want. Your own anxiety is the problem. You’re never going to meet a dude who isn’t trying to fuck you
Hang in there, OP. I felt the same way for years and then I finally did meet someone just like that – on Tinder. He’s kind, likes me the way I am, interested in what I have to say & what my plans for the future are.
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It can happen. Don’t give up!
Internet dating culture, my roommate brings a girl home once a week.
I ask him so how was she, any potential. He’s always disinterested after getting that booty.
My personal dating strategy as always been trying to meet someone that I genuinely like and see where that goes. I don’t go on many since I filter a lot.
But all the dates I’ve been on where great. Did not all end in something but were all pleasant experiences.
Now currently dating a girl I meet about 4 months ago, going well.
I think it’s all about the end goal. If you use these apps wanting to meet someone, not to fuck someone. It makes a huge difference.
This is the reason women date older men. You can find these traits in a man not in a boy.
Honestly I think it’s dating apps.
I’m going throught the exact same thing. I was even in a relationship with a guy off a different app, and he ended up treating me the same way even though we had gotten to the point of a relationship.
I’m just going to try and meed guys in person from now on and see if that helps.
Oh honey, don’t let tinder get to your heart. I used to be just like you, but I soon realized that it wasn’t me, it was dating culture and the nature of men in their 20s (I’m assuming you’re also in your 20s, too). You see, men in their 20s are at the peak if their fuck-boyery stage and they rarely tend to be interested in serious relationships, especially on these dating apps. You have to realize that dating apps naturally make people more shallow than they are, because they have thousands of profiles to choose from at their finger tips and have to judge people based on their pictures and a biography that is usually no longer than a paragraph and often even as short as one sentence. When 20 something year old men have electronic access to that many profiles it causes them to make them egotistical and go for the « perfect » looking people only. And these « perfect » people are by no means better than you at all, nor are they always the most attractive. They just have the highest quality pictures, take pictures with attractive friends, choose to share photos only at exotic locations to make their every day lives seem more adventurous than they actually are. Normal looking selfies no longer get you anywhere. It’s all about having pictures of you sipping from a wine glass with the coast of Greece, Spain, or Italy in the background, having pictures of you in Morocco, pictures of you hiking in a forest (while still looking like a Disney princess), and having pictures of yourself at a protest or research presentation. More often than not, even the best phone cameras cannot capture photos like this, and the most successful people on dating apps use photos taken by professional cameras that have seen a lot of photoshopping/editing. I know so many very attractive people who weren’t very successful on dating sites, and many average looking people who were, and it was for the reason I said above.
Anyways, back to the point. Realize that this is not you, rather it is the men of our age group and being sucked into the online dating world which has taken away the want/desire for making real connections. Online dating apps have turned dating into a Pokemon game. Also, hook up culture has become much more normalized these days (which is not necessarily a bad thing), but it’s becoming overaccessive to the point where people aren’t wanting real relationships anymore.
You will find something truly worthwhile one day, I promise. You are very mature and passionate for your age, and I am sure you are also very beautiful. Those are highly desirable qualities and I’m sure anyone worthwhile will appreciate them and you.
I know how you feel, I feel that way aswell. I just want to find that person who loves me for me.. Someone I can make happy by being me. Someone I love and care about and that loves me and cares about me.
Everyone does.
OLD apps are not for finding love or anything substantial. They are not built for that and we have no clue how many healthy relationships form from them
Men that are into you as a person are likely being perceived as boring because that’s sadly how it all works on some level
How we are raised has a large impact on our relationships
But why can’t you enjoy sex and still be treated like a human being….?
So someone has probably said this already but i refuse to read through all these damn comments. As a guy I can respectfully say guys are fucking assholes pretty much all most all guys want only sex. Now I also don’t know you personally but it sounds like you need to toughen up your skin a bit, don’t lets a few assholes destroy your self confidence. Just live your life how you wanna live it and Don’t give any shit what people think of you. You got this, and I bet your young so you got a lot of time to find someone.
Next time you date someone, just be friends with them first. If both of you are friends and genuinely like hanging out then dating will be easy
This is what happen when you’re super hot