Dating : My issue with drinking and smoking
I (20M) find girls that drink and/or smoke very unattractive. The majority of the girls that I meet and flirt with are at uni, and it is very difficult to find someone that doesn’t smoke/drink.
The problem arrives when a girl says “I don’t drink/smoke either” and she’s just lying. This happens 99% of the time when dating or meeting new girls. They’re like “ahaha I don’t smoke either it’s just that I’ve started trying it”. At the end even if I try to hangout with them or have a relationship I just can’t cope with it (the strong smell, “poison”, smoking attitude, etc.)
My question is how can I date with someone and ignore this? Or is there some niche I must look into?
Anyone here going through the same thing? Maybe not with drinking/smoking/drugs but anything else that 99% of people do?
Edit: I myself don’t smoke/drink/drugs. I just drink water hahaha, not even soda.
I’m just taking a wild guess here, but there’s GOT to be some kind of way for people like that to meet.
Shit, become a millionaire and make an app. Call it “single, sober, and looking”.
Kinda like Christian dating or something.
Your best bet is to wait a few years. Most people your age are still in their experimental stage. It sounds like you’re in Europe from your usage of « uni », so I don’t know when most people start drinking where you are, but in the U.S. people start drinking the most at age 21 and it’s not until they’re in their mid to late 20s that some of them kind of get bored or tired of the constant drinking.
I don’t drink or smoke and I’ve never lied about it. There are some of us out there!
I know hinge has the option to put if you smoke cigarettes, weed, do drugs, or drink. Idk if you use apps though. Also idk how big your school is, but mine was huge and I had no problem finding most types of people. I met them through clubs, friends, and parties.
I feel you man. I’m a bodybuilder in university so my life revolves around training/eating right/recovery which means no drugs or alcohol. Maybe try to meet women at your university gym? Or if there are fitness classes offered, you may find like-minded individuals there too. Good luck!
personally I don’t like people who use hard drugs but im fine with weed and alcohol. I would prefer someone who doesn’t smoke cigarettes but it’s not a deal breaker. I used to hate people who smoked weed but I’ve gotten over it once I tried it myself. I think u need to just look past it tbh. it’s not your choice what someone else does. I understand u don’t wanna be around it and u can express that u would rather not be present when they do it. but u cant expect someone not to smoke or drink just bcuz u don’t like it. I feel like instead of looking for someone who doesn’t smoke or drink at all, you’ll have a better chance finding someone who does it very occasionally. personally I smoke weed on occasion, maybe once a month, no cigarettes tho, and drink maybe once every 3 months and don’t even get drunk from it. I’m 21F. I feel like you’re more likely to find someone like me who enjoys these things, just not very often, rather than someone who doesn’t do them ever ever
I understand wanting to find someone who checks all your boxes but at the same time, u gotta be flexible and open minded. when I was much younger, I nagged one of my boyfriends about smoking and drinking and I shouldn’t have and I lost him. more recently, I had someone who nagged me and straight up told me he wouldn’t be with me if I smoked at all even when he wasn’t around. so I’m not coming from a place of judgment or trying to tell u what to do. but I don’t want u to lose out on opportunities with people u may actually like just bcuz they occasionally enjoy some of these things