Dating : (Need Advice) Trying to Navigate the World of Dating
I was in one of my classes this semester (18M) and met this really cool girl. I talked to her all semester and things were going good. I’m a pretty average looking guy with average build but im very social. Knowing this, my friends encouraged me to ask her out because things seemed like they were going really well. She is single and for some reason things just click when we talk. Conversations flow naturally and I don’t get nervous around her, things are just really nice. I pick up on this and decided to go through and ask her out to a movie.
She says she is not looking for a boyfriend right now and that really bummed me out because from my point of view it looked like she was into me. She does all the things a girl typically does when they are interested, touches my arm, plays with hair, good eye contact even when she’s sitting far away.
Did she say this to let me down easy, or is there a peice that I’m just missing?
Just trying to figure out what I can do better in the future, because thought I’m glad I did it that doesn’t make it feel much better
Honestly it could be a bunch of different reasons as to what happened here:
1. She sees you more as a friend (which in that case she should stop sending mixed signals, even if she doesn’t realize she’s sending you mixed signals).
2. She may genuinely not be looking for a boyfriend. Like you, she’s young. Both of you have the whole world ahead of you! It could be that she’s trying to let you down easily because of potential reason #1, but unless she indicates otherwise, just take her word for it. I don’t see her having any reason to lie to you. 🙂
3. It’s also been in my experience that some of the more immature girls at my college played guys to boost their self esteem. Led them on and then declined any advances just to make themselves feel better kind of thing, which I personally found completely uncalled for.
If I had to lay money on any of these scenarios, I would bet that she’s just really friendly and doesn’t know that she’s sending mixed signals, and she probably isn’t interested in a relationship at this point. If she’s as nice as you say, I highly doubt it’s the last potential scenario. I don’t think you could have done anything better than what you did: you saw what you thought were signals, you made the move, and she kindly declined. It’s okay, it happens. 🙂
As for in the future, this will sound redundant, but just get out there, meet people, be yourself. Believe it or not, many folks are attracted to nice people, and you sound like a nice dude. So long as you let your personality shine, you’ll meet someone. 🙂