Dating : Not attracted to people around me?
I (27f) was born and raised in one of the larger cities in my state (US). Lived here my whole life, and only left for a few years for college. As a kid, I was bullied really badly which had killed my confidence, especially when it comes to dating. Boys used to dare each other to ask me out due to my appearance and « weird kid » labels. Because of this, I find it extremely hard to trust people. I have never had a relationship and even worried something was wrong with me as a teen because I was not attracted to men (or women, for the record). I’d hear girls gushing over attractive guys and just not be able to see what they did.
When I went to uni out of state, I did not have these experiences. Guys treated me normally. For the first time, I started to find men attractive. I got crushes, but didn’t know how to act on them and really regret not doing so.
After graduating I moved back home, and still live there. However, I’ve noticed that I do not find guys attractive here at home. I don’t see guys and think « oh he’s cute » like I did in college. Idk if it’s different demographics or past experiences or what. I see guys from other states and think they are attractive, but never people here. I think a big factor is demographics. I’m in a city with a lot of gang violence. Most guys are in construction or other manual labor jobs. Most also have tattoos or piercings. I do not find myself attracted to these types. I find tattoos and piercings a huge turn off. A few small tattoos I can tolerate but that’s about it. I do not know what it is about manual labor professions. But I have a hard time being attracted to someone in one of those positions. It’s very hard to explain, but it is a preference for me. I do plan on moving eventually, but finances have been keeping me from doing that at this point in time. Since I don’t know how long it’ll be until I can, I don’t want to hold off dating until I move. It could be two months from now, it could be 5 years. I want to have kids eventually, and feel like I am « running out of time » for that.
Is there a way to get over this issue with people in my area?
If not, i personally do not mind a long distance relationship. I feel like I would have a much easier time finding someone I was interested in outside of my state. I wouldn’t even mind someone in another country, honestly. I just don’t feel attracted to people in my area. My issue with that though, is idk how to meet people elsewhere. All the dating apps I’ve tried only search your area, and the few that allow you to search elsewhere only show you who « liked » you if you pay. I don’t pay for most dating apps, I can’t expect the guy to. I basically have to hope that guys I’m interested in are also looking in MY area despite not living there. Are there social apps etc for this?
