Dating : Persistence is not attractive when the answer has been stated loud and clear.
I don’t understand it, really.
Maybe someone here can shed light behind the mindset?
On why you would repeatedly attempt to message someone even after they’ve stated that they’re not interested?
And this is regarding the early stages of dating, when you’re trying to get to know someone.
Or the « talking » stage.
Men who cannot handle rejection, such that they repeatedly attempt multiple times to persuade the individual, are absolutely frustrating.
And I’m sure it’s frustrating too for men who deal with the same behavior from women.
I’ve blocked several men this week, but I’m just going to start blocking men after the initial no.
Robert Bolton’s writing on assertiveness in « People Skills » (a very readable and worthwhile book on social skills) emphasises the key point that true assertiveness recognises the boundaries and assertiveness of others; that is, that you can assert your own needs and demands, but that they do not come to the detriment of the needs of others. I feel a lot of people confuse « aggressive and demanding » with « assertive », when nothing could be less aggressive and demanding than acknowledging other people’s wellbeing.
This is my guess. If they’ve already been rejected they have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario they are still rejected which is where they are at right now. So they roll the dice. TBH I kind of did this recently because of miscommunication. I matched with a woman on tinder who told me she accidentally swiped me. I thought she was joking because she kept responding to me and putting more effort into our conversation than 90% of women do. Turns out I was wrong. If I had taken what she said at face value and she was joking I would have screwed myself out of a potential date. Frankly, I don’t have a lot of opprotunity and don’t even get to date every month so I can’t really afford to pass on a chance. I really did think she was joking around, and If this interaction had happened in person things like tone, body language etc would have given me ques to know she was being sincere.
Are you talking about long term relationships or something else?
The media really pushes this type of behavior. Tons and tons of books, movies, TV shows revolve around someone persistently pursuing someone and then eventually getting to be with them. Playing hard to get is also a thing, so there’s definitely people who believe that rejection is just playing hard to get, and they think they should keep asking. And there’s also people who fixate on a particular person, so even after being rejected they are still interested and believe that they could change the other person’s mind. And lots of people will encourage someone who has been rejected to keep trying.
It’s a deeper cultural problem.
That’s too general a statement and I feel like you’re confusing persistence with insistence. The former can be attractive if done the right way (even after clear rejection), the latter is always unattractive. I’ve won many a woman over with some persistence and creativity. The trick is recognizing when a battle is lost (which your guys apparently failed at) and doing it in creative ways (which your guys failed at as well, doing it over text is almost always bad).
I can handle rejection but being immediately blocked with no reply or simply saying not interested is what’s fucked up. Especially after enjoying Spiderman far from home together lmao. I mean there’s more details but yeah..
I was asking if we could hangout again or if I’m gonna be ghosted or what I did wrong, asking don’t leave me in the dark just lmk. But nope just blocked from everything lmao