Dating : To The Guy Who’s Looking…

I was recently informed that I « scare » men off. Well, here’s my answer to that:

1. I’m not trying to attract men and 
2. Men are never intimidated by a smart, strong, assertive woman, only boys are. Anyhoo, it prompted me to write this blog….

Sometimes, we meet someone and we discover things we have in common with this person. So, it feels like there’s a connection, it’s because we can relate to each other on some level.. maybe a past experience. This does not necessarily mean we connect in other ways. We can connect with many people, it doesn’t mean we would pursue a relationship with them. Sure, if we spend time with someone, we may most likely form a deeper connection. It’s not necessarily destiny, it’s science. Duh.

Ladies, don’t you just love the dude who hits on you on social media and persists even if you decline or ignore? Look, ain’t nobody trying to snub you men, but, « some of us women » are just not interested. No hard feelings, buddy. You see, « some of us women » don’t consider Twitter and Facebook to be dating sites. If « some of us women » wanted to date online, we’d head on over to Tinder. So just calm the *beep* down already.

Furthermore, if you want to increase your suitability, you’ll need to do more than try to impress a woman with the usual dribble, flirting and innuendos, your borderline overdraft on your bank balance, what you THINK are stylish threads/nice wheels, a cute smile or the hot bod …(seriously, bruh, have you even checked the mirror? You’re not THAT cute and your biceps may be well defined, but your grammar needs some serious attention.) And by the way, that faux charm that you no doubt slather on whenever you find yourself in female company, is kind of lame. Trust me, « some of us women », not impressed.

Another tip: Quit selling yourself as « good marriage material ». Ain’t nobody « good marriage material » until they’re married and it’s good. So stop with that, it’s basically like false advertising. Then there’s the dude who thinks going on expensive dates is impressive. Tip: Get creative. Save the spa days, the gifts, the flowers and the big romantic gestures for when we’re in a committed relationship. Woo me then! It’s easy to woo a woman when there’s still a chance you could lose her. But the secret is to woo her throughout the marriage.

Oh, and don’t showboat either. There is nothing more off-putting than a guy who validates himself by speaking about how much he gives to charity, how he let other motorists cut in front of him or that he’s never skipped paying child support, never dodged paying a speeding fine, loves his mamma… Dude, relax, we are all SUPPOSED to be charitable, honest, faithful, good parents to our kids, caring children to our parents, law abiding citizens and humane. These are the kind of characteristics that should not even be in question, rewarded or validated. Everything else, is a just a bonus.

So, if you feel the need to advertise the above in the hopes that it would impress « some of us women », you’re doing it wrong. And if you think « some of us women » are on social media to be chatted up, you need to get a clue.

Disclaimer: This piece was written to create awareness that « some of us women » are not on social media forums to find a date. This piece was written with a splash of humour, a dollop of snark and a good dose of « true dat ».