Dating : How to date with an unstable lifestyle? [21M]
Some moons ago I stumbled upon /r/redpillwomen. Bear with me: I know how people feel about the red pill type subreddits but this one line in the wiki stuck with me:
> Women are the gatekeepers of sex, while men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
I thought about it and realized this statement was actually fairly accurate.
I have no problem with commitment, I’m loyal as a dog, but commitment in most cases seems to actually be stability. I am not really interested in a stable lifestyle. I love and crave variety and adventure and I love learning. Not sure if this is a phase or not but I can’t see myself sitting at a desk doing the same thing for any prolonged period of time. I’m a terrible employee, all of my last 3 bosses have had issues with me, I get bored easily and am not inclined to following the rules. Right now, I’ve just graduated from school and I’m in a well paid STEM job saving 60% of my income. I plan to quit in a year and then switch to an entire different career path that will offer more flexibility and hopefully pay better as well. I’m planning a life for myself that would involve 12 months of work followed by 3 months of travel, with plans to retire around 35, thereafter traveling extensively, starting a business, and working in a variety of different careers, maybe moving abroad.
How the hell do I find a partner? Any girl reading the above would probably think I’m a disaster, but I think I’m a pretty good partner, I’ve had no major problems in my relationships. I dated a really great girl last year that might have worked out long term, even started living together after 1 month, except she wanted to do a PhD and be a university professor, which is probably the most constricting lifestyle a person could have (there were other compatibility issues besides that, but we never once had an argument while we were together. Even the breakup wasn’t an argument.). I don’t know how to find someone that is interested in a nontraditional/unstable lifestyle. It feels like everyone just wants the 9-5, house and picket fence for life.
Even though I’m interested in a more adventurous lifestyle, I’m not really into the whole hookup culture. I’ve seen love in a woman’s eyes and I know that I want that more than sex. Ideally I think I’d like to get married as soon as possible; everything is better when I can share the fun with someone.
Additionally, I think the threat of traveling for some extended period of time is tough for relationships. A big reason that my last girlfriend and I started living together so soon was 1) she could move back to her place at any time and it was no big deal, both places were already paid for but 2) I was graduating school and we wanted to quickly see if we could work well enough to the point that I would continue to see her after graduating. So that was another difficult point to overcome.
Do you live an unstable lifestyle, or know someone that does? What advice can you offer me? How do you find partners interested in nontraditional, unstable lifestyles? How do you manage a relationship of this nature? How do you deal with long gaps while dating? Thanks. Sorry if this post isn’t really appropriate for this subreddit.
TL;DR: How do you find partners interested in nontraditional, unstable lifestyles? How do you manage a relationship of this nature? How do you deal with long gaps while dating?
