Dating : When the fuck did everyone get so flakey?
I’ve (38/m) been dating off and on for the better part of four years since my divorce. Early on, I had some good dates and some bad dates, some short relationships and one longer one along the way. I recently ended a relationship with someone I dated for about 6 months and my return to dating after taking a few months off has been insanely frustrating.
I’m not talking about bad dates or just not feeling a connection. I’m talking about people who you have great conversations with, plan a date, and then *poof* they disappear. Sometimes they claim there is an emergency that came up, sometimes (usually) they just ghost and you never hear anything from them again. I realize that it’s probably just a case of something better or more interesting coming along, I am fine with rejection, it’s just part of the deal.
But this seems to be almost impossible to avoid now. I have now talked to six straight women over the past month or two, all seemed super interested and I scheduled dates. Immediately after the date was scheduled, they all disappeared. No text, no phone call, just a complete disappearance.
Is this something that a lot of people are dealing with now, or am I just cursed at this point? I’m trying really hard to not become bitter, but at a certain point you just want someone to follow through with something. Where did the common courtesy go?
The most recent time I decided to straight up ask her if she was no longer interested in going out. She said she’d love to go out and agreed to meet up this weekend for a date during the day. I asked her whether she preferred Saturday afternoon or Sunday since I am free during the day of both. And for the second time in a week, she disappeared again.
Thats how it is now. After my last relationship ended when I was 22, I spent around 2ish years using Tinder, Meetme, POF, Okcupid, Coffee meets Bagel, you name it, and I was using it. Over this time I spoke to hundreds and hundreds of women. I probably had conversations with ~300 out of lets say 1000 that I messaged (the rest didnt respond). Of the 300, I arranged dates with probably around 65 or so (the rest just ghosted me). Of those 65 dates that I had planned, I actually had the opportunity to meet up with 4 or 5 of them. 60ish women ghosted me within 1-3 days of our scheduled date. It was frustrating as hell, and I only slept with 1 of those women I met up with, the rest ghosted me immediately AFTER the date.
Dating nowadays (at least online) is an absolute shit show
Nowadays women have so many options they can just constantly hop to something better
» *I’ve (38/m) been dating off and on for the better part of four years since my divorce* »
Easy. **Tinder** + **Instagram** = Pandora’s Box that cannot be closed. **Tinder** not only introduce the **fast swipe dating** for everyone, but it also boost everyone’s **EGO** into thinking there is **always someone else BETTER** for me just 1 click away. Photo-Centric **Instagram**, not wordy Twitter nor funny posting Facebook is the most popular Social Media APP. That means the world has shifted toward: JUDGE 100% EVERYONE BY THEIR APPEARANCE. If you’re UGLY, then you are FUCKED.
I can answer that simply with we have a lot of options. I can be interested in a guy and want to meet him but I continue to swipe and chat when the other one isn’t available at a moment. Then bam there’s a better connection with someone else. I have to force myself to stop browsing when I come across a good one.
The day before the date text her and say you’ll be running late. Weeds out most flakes.
It’s online dating through the years. Women have it on easy mode, there’s always a pool of guys to choose from so they don’t have to commit. They can always move on to the next available guy that gives them validation. It’s a pain sometimes because it gets annoying when you’re genuinely interested and they’re not.
Because most people match when they are alone at home on Friday or Saturday night, and they are just using you for validation, telling themselves that night that they are single but can still get someone if they want. Then the next day passes, and they are thinking clearer and don’t see the relationship being anything more than sex.
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Others have just got out of relationship, and just match with someone and set a date, then realize that they are not over their ex yet and don’t want to rush into dating.
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I do the same thing to women, and I’m a guy. Most of the time its cause I set up too many dates in the week, and realize I cant see all of them. After working 40 hrs and going to the gym on my other hours, I only have so much energy left in me to hang out. So I will have to cancel a couple.
It happened due to money, apps want money, so they put systems in place to allow women to flake with no way of the guy finding out or responding.
They get freaked out by the grey hairs on your doodle. They want daddy not grandpa.
Okay