Dating : Why is he (28m( reaching out again after I (24f) confronted him for sending mixed signals?
About 3 months ago I (24f) met this guy (28m) on tinder and we got along pretty well. He told me he wasn’t looking for hookups, that he was looking for friends. I wasn’t looking for hookups either so I thought we could be friends.
Since very early he started acting very flirty, caring, and overall very interested,lm shy so it took me a little to warmup to him, but then I started liking him (we kissed, but never had sex). After ~ 2 months he started acting hot and cold. At first I was confused by his mixed signals so I gave him and I time until I talked to him about it. I told him that sometimes I felt like we were friends, some others that there was something else, and sometimes that he was talking to me when it was convenient to him.
He told me that he valued my friendship, that he was sorry for sending mixed signals and that he wasn’t ready to start dating again (which I understood). He also apologized for reaching out again, and said that he understood if I didn’t want to be his friend. I just liked his last response.
2 weeks have passed and he reached out to me again. He first reacted to one of my ig posts and then when I posted a picture about my hair on my story he sent it to me saying it looked really good.
What’s up with him?
Pss: In these past 2 weeks he also posted a video with a girl and supposedly he didn’t have many girl friends because he is pretty new to the area.
TLDR: guy acts hot and cold I confront him about it. We stop talking and he reaches out again.
He’s reaching out for lust.
Maybe he took your feedback to heart. Maybe he’s done sending mixed messages. Maybe he’s socially inept. Maybe he is now trying to send clear(er) messages. Ask him!
Doesn’t sound like anything crazy. You told him you were uncomfortable, he apologized, then complimented you after 2 weeks. Did you tell him not to talk to you or set any other boundaries? Also, he could easily have met a friend within that time or just been solo at a gathering and had a picture taken.
He’s not interested enough in a decent friendship not anything more. Block and delete else you’ll keep playing this back and forth game emotionally exhausting yourself in the process.
[deleted]
Well, it might be easy. You outlined what you’ve been thinking and feeling quite clearly. Does your bf know EVERYTHING you wrote in your post? If not he needs to. This is no time to be indirect. Just ask him to communicate with you openly, honestly, authentically and courageously—adult to adult; Man to woman.
coz is only a man, he reach out when he is horny or wanting women interactions, this is not his fault, this is a man weakness, seeing ur hair, men will react. They are only a man. They react in boobs, booty, hair, pretty face, all about beauty.
But him saying he is not ready trust those words, coz even u fuck he will be hot and cold.
Else ur really good in playing with boys that u can’t get feelings, then you can play.