Dating : Would you tell a guy you used to date that you’ve been thinking about him a lot?
(tl;dr at the bottom)
This is mostly a question to women, but anyone’s general opinion would be appreciated!
Would you tell a guy you used to date that you’ve been thinking about him a lot, even though you’re the one who broke things off?
A little background, I am a 23M and the girl is a 23F.
To keep this brief, I used to date this girl at the beginning of the year for about 3 months. She broke things off between us because she didn’t see the relationship growing. I was pretty bummed out because I liked her a lot and still do. A few nights ago she texts out of the blue saying that she has been thinking about me a lot and asking how I’ve been. The conversation was pretty playful and kinda flirty, similar to the way we used to talk/text when we dated. It went on for about an hour and we texted each other good night and she said she’d talk to me later in a flirty-ish fashion.
We continued messaging the next day and decided to hang out together with some friends at one of the local bars we used to go to when we dated. We had a great time seeing each other for the first time in about 4 months. The next day she continued texting me so I thought maybe she was interested in me again so I asked her out on a date. She seemed like she wanted to go, but later on that same night she stopped replying to me and I haven’t heard from her since.
tl;dr
Girl I used to date, texts me she has been thinking about me a lot, but now won’t reply to me. Would you go out of your way to tell someone you’ve been thinking about them, even though you’re the one that broke things off?
I’ve done it and I’ve had exes say it to me. I usually see it as a « hope you’re well and want you to know I still wish the best for you » more than reigniting any sort of relationship.
In your situation, it sounds like she missed you and easily fell into the old chemistry when she saw you but now is realizing it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to get back together. Maybe she needs some time to figure out what she wants.
How long ago was it? Has it been more than a week? And what did you write exactly? If you wrote the text as coming off as needy and wanting to meet up desperately, then it might’ve turned her off. If she’s the one who broke it off, it’s generally on her most of the time to try to revive the relationship.
Also, hanging out with some friends was probably a bad idea as it doesn’t allow the two of you to really talk face to face even if you were mostly just talking to her only.
From what I’ve gathered, it seems like she was lonely, or maybe thinking about the good times/memories and just wanted to keep in touch. Women who do this generally want back up options, so I would just be wary of her.
I’m not a woman, but to answer your question; yes some girls do that. Whether the reason is being lonely, wanting attention, and some self-validation that the breakup was probably for the best.
lmao do you really need us to tell you that she don’t want you