Dating : Why are there so many women that put on dating apps that they’re “not nice”, or “unfriendly”, “mean/rude” or “hard to handle”?
Like is that something that some women think are traits that are desirable? Idk if it’s just my age range or my area but most of the girls seem like they’d just be headaches. Why the hell would any guy want to be with someone who is hard to handle?
« If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best! » -Karen
Probably the same reason men brag about being sarcastic and ‘if you can’t take a joke, that’s your problem.’ They’ve been called out on their bad, abusive behavior and instead of changing, they claim it and advertise it so that when they are called out again, they can deflect by saying, « this is who I am, I told you this from the beginning. »
So statistically how many women are we talking about here? 50.000?
I’m a guy and I used to have a mean mug, so people thought I had a stick up my taint. So, a lot of people treated me like that. At some point I believed it and I used to tell others I was a hardass, judgmental person.
Nowadays, I’m not young anymore and I don’t have a mean mug, but I obviously stopped listening to what idiots tell me.
Maybe the young women you’ve mentioned should also stop listening to idiots telling them that they’re « not nice », « unfriendly », « mean/rude » or « hard to handle », so they stop regurgitating the same assumptions on their tinder bio
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Just my 0.02;
To justify their dick-ish behavior. To come across as ‘interesting’ or ‘quirky’ when actually they’re not very nice people.
if someone tells you how they are trust them
Gentlemen, only go for such ones only if their ass is better then their sass. Otherwise she ll be your pain. Trust me
It’s probably some mix of: (1) being called out on bad behaviour and, instead of learning from it, identifying with it, because it’s easier than working on themselves, (2) understanding that, as women on online dating, they have a large pool of guys to choose from and lots of people are going to want to match with them anyway, so it won’t affect their dating life much, and (3) being upset at men and hoping to avoid nasty messages from dudes by flagging as someone who is mean and unkind (and not thinking this through enough to realize that if they actively advertise themselves as « mean » and « rude » they’re likely going to make it more difficult to match with kind-hearted, well-adjusted people, who generally see being mean and rude as marks of immaturity and undesirable qualities).
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Underselling themselves so that the bar is set low and therefore makes it easier to impress with the actual good qualities they have.
I do that too at times hehehe it lowers the expectations and makes a bigger wow factor when the guy realizes she’s not mean or whatever she’s saying negatively about herself.
We’re competing against thousands of other men and I’m sure they’ve seen and read some shit. No but really we put them on a pedestal so that’s what as a society get. 90% of all woman gunning for the top 10% of men.
Probably because it’s seen as trendy or cute to be antisocial.
Men (and society in general) tend to have an expectation of women always being friendly and amiable. This is a woman’s way of warning people that she doesn’t buy into it. As in, if you say something stupid or inane she’s not going to just smile prettily at you.
So that assholes don’t message them
It’s a big « approach at your own risk » sign, they’re waving that red flag and if you take them up on it, you’re accepting whatever behavior that comes with it. Don’t come complaining on reddit when that happens.
Some people like mean girls