Dating : Help: I don’t know how to handle the situation as I never experienced it before…
I (19f) met a guy (23m) at a party. It didn’t end as planned and I couldn’t go home so I asked him, rven though we didn’t even talk at the party, if I could sleep at his place (ik it was dumb).
So at his place we talked for another couple of hours and even though I wanted to sleep at his couch, I somehow slept in his bed (nothing happened, we cuddled). He was super nice and we exchanged numbers, even though I live around 3 hours away from him.
No we started to write (I messaged first) and we wrote so much every single day. After some weeks I had the chance to go back to his city with my friend who invited me the first time. I went and I eventually meet up with him at his flat in the evening. We talked for 6-7 hours straight, but kept distance and then we decided to watch a movie. That’s how we started to cuddle and he was absolutely cute.
Now because I nearly fell asleep we went to his bed to go sleeping. He tried to initiate sex (not like in an aggressive way, just slowly), but I told him that I am too tired (bc I never had sex before I was too afraid and I didn’t want to tell him at that point). We cuddled the whole night and the whole morning until 11:30am, because I had to leave.
Now I don’t know where we stand. We continued writing, but I feel like he is responding less (only a few times a day compared to many times) and I am afraid something is wrong.
So there are a few problems:
1. What are his intentions (I am good with everything and I want to sleep with him, but I would like to know)?
2. Is he even interested anymore? Because I am afraid I text him too much and he is like overwhelmed and secretly wants to stop talking to me. (I asked if I can come again one day and he said yeah, totally fine, but i don’t know how to understand that).
3. I had something with a friend/someone who he knows pretty well at the party, before I left with him. It was like almost sex, but I stopped beforehand as I wasn’t comfortable. He met that guy probably on the weekend at a different party and I am afraid he now knows about it. And if not and we continue writing and meeting, should I tell him?
Btw: we aren’t going to meet for another month probably, as we both have exams.
And tbh: he is kind of what most of my friends would want, but also looks a bit fuckboyish (6’4 », lots of muscles and he goes out a lot to party).
He probably thinks that you’re not really interested in developing a more intimate relationship, and that you’re going to friendzone him very soon.
Guys are less complicated in their thoughts than girls. They don’t think endlessly about what is causing you to behave in a certain way. They straight up think you’re not interested and that’s it.
He made the first step, and you rejected it (for good reasons). Now it’s your turn to steer things to the right direction again and be truthful about why you don’t go a step further.
Also, you’re 19. Nobody will assume that you had plenty of sex. Be straight forward about your lack of experience, I almost guarantee he’ll be very understanding.
I see this ending extremely poorly for u. I highly highly highly suggest u don’t have sex with him right away or possibly even at all. Take your time and make sure you pick the right person.
if you go see him again you’ll have sex, stop playing games that’s why he has lost interest.
Nah u put too much pressure on her trust me it’s no big deal your planning on marrying the guy it’s just sex it’s not the end of the world and p.S it always ends badly but come on if u wanna do it do it stop playing games cause trust me u gonna lose him he’s not shallow he’s just horny and rejected
What you really want? Sex or relationship.?
Ask him on a date? Im getting the vibes that you dont want to sleep with him so quickly/ be a one night stand, so meet up for coffee, talk to him and find out more, if he seems genuine and willing to put in effort then proceed from there