Dating : Dating advice requested!!
So some background on me: 43yo, divorced male, with two teens half of the time. Have used apps for meeting/dating.
My terminal goal would be to find someone for a relationship that offers all facets – fun, supportive, smart, sexual, etc.
I don’t have any pre-conceived ideas about how to get there. I don’t believe because you hook up with someone that they aren’t relationship material and I don’t believe that if you hold out 6 dates that they suck in bed.
Situation: started talking with two women about the same time 3-4wks ago.
Woman #1: single, no kids, employed professional, common interests and good conversation. We’ve only been on one date. Her work schedule is difficult (M-F 2p-11p) so she’s basically unavailable except for weekends at this point. Also she lives about 30 min away. We seem to genuinely enjoy chatting – it’s an easy going vibe and both mutually reach out to the other to show interest.
Woman #2: divorced, two kids, employed professional. Met for coffee (lives 5 min away) and liked one another and then she texted she wanted to clarify that she’s interested in casual fun and sex (FWB) but not opposed to more if that works out. Of course I’m malleable and moving forward we had another date and sex and then just a night of sex. It’s great sex and she’s very attractive. We also have a lot of common interests outside the bedroom and also enjoy chatting, though it is markedly less chatting than with #1. But she will reach out to me, send me a picture of sunset while canoeing, etc.
So I feel like this upcoming weekend will be more defining and I’ll be in a position where I’ll need to choose who to move forward with. Is there a way to mold the two together?
I see #1 as more nurturing, emotionally available and wanting to develop a relationship. I don’t know how the sex would be and if it were lame, it might spell doom but that’s only known after a few times.
I see #2 as more sensual, less emotionally available, amazing sex, but unsure on the relationship piece. She’s more available/closer geographically and has a similar schedule to mine.
What advice does the Reddit give?
If you are ideally looking for a relationship, this is an easy choice, woman #1. She reaches out to you to show interest, the conversation is better than with woman #2, and as you say, she is more emotionally available.
Rotate both until it evolves naturally.
This is just me, but Woman 1 would be my choice for an actual relationship.
Woman 2 seems like she is trying to grab hold of years she lost, either through her marriage or just from raising kids and not being able to live her 20s.
Now there is nothing wrong with what woman 2 is doing, but really I think she is playing the field and you are just one of at least a few players for her to choose from.
Woman 1 seems like she has already experienced those years and realized it’s not the way she wants to be at this stage in her life.
So, really, it depends what you are looking for now that you are also single.
2 is better.
Relationships that aren’t convienent are unsustainable in them early stages. Not that there’s anything wrong with lady 1, but if it is inconvienent for you, then it is difficult to make it go anywhere. I’m having casual sex with a friend rn that i’d love to date more seriously, but I see her like once every two to three months.