Dating : Should I tell potential FWB that I’m on my period?
Hey!
I just met a guy off of Hinge two weeks ago. We went on a great date and ended up hooking up. After hooking up I asked him what he was looking for. He said he was interested in hanging out long term and he wouldn’t be opposed to things leading to more….
I’m in the same boat as him. I would love to have a bf but a FWB would be great because I haven’t had regular sex in years…
So now he asked me to come over on Sunday and of course my period seems like it’s about to start today. I don’t know why it’s a big deal in my mind but should I let him know before hand so he’s not expecting anything?
Or should I just hang out with him and cross that bridge if we get there? We haven’t exclusively said this was just going to be a sex thing.
I’m sorry if this is a silly question but I’m not good at navigating these things!
I don’t see how this is a FWB if no one has mentioned that it is yet. If you or him are only interested in being FWB, in my opinion, there is no point in hanging out if sex isn’t going to happen. If you guys are actually trying to date, then you or him should be open to going on a date that doesn’t lead to sex.
He will think it’s a total waste of time if you go there for non-sex.
Yes! Tell him it’s shark week, or that you’re participating in a reenactment of the French revolution!
I‘d just give him a heads up about that. Personally, I‘d prefer to tell it right away instead of just in the moment because his reaction might tell me a lot of valuable info which I‘d like to know asap, but ymmv and that would also be okay because a) he‘s not entitled to have sex with you just because you spend time with him and b) disclosing before sex is just fine either way as it leaves enough time for him to decide whether he‘s in it or not (except when he throws a tantrum about it because he spent time on you without getting sex – that would be a case for r/niceguys and you should ditch his ass in that scenario, if it ever came to that).
Also, I wouldn‘t assume sex to be off the table just because you‘re on your period (that is, as long as you want sex during that time at all and in that situation in particular, and he‘s on boat with that as well – that said, I wouldn‘t want to be with someone who wouldn‘t fuck me 1/4 of my time on principle because he thinks I‘m somehow gross, and it could tell you quite a lot about him if he insinuates you are gross and untouchable due to a perfectly normal bodily function, which is something you should figure out about him anyway rather sooner than later, but ymmv depending on your own stance on period sex).
If you‘re both on the same side about period sex/no period sex, just spend a nice evening together (because friends with benefits is called *friends* with benefits for a reason, otherwise it‘s just an euphemism for „fucking without having to put a thought into the other person‘s well-being, whenever it‘s convenient“), or put down a large towel, use condoms and enjoy the ride (which can help greatly with period pains btw!). If he won’t even see you/uninvite you because it‘s lost time for him when you‘re bleeding and he thus won’t t have sex with you, that‘s not a *friends* with benefits situation as well, that‘s him taking advantage of you when you‘re not on your period and disposing of you whenever he feels like it/whenever you‘re not useful for him (see above). Same goes for „does expect blowjobs no matter if you feel like it on your period but won‘t reciprocate anything remotely sexual because urgh gross periods!“
Just surprise him with it. Men love surprises.
Fucked up kids