Dating : Feeling defeated
I (28F) started seeing this guy (30M) in March. At first things were great we were hanging out regularly and moving in a positive direction. In the past month things have taken a turn. I don’t see him or speak with him nearly as much as before and I have expressed to him that I need more. He works a lot and usually when he’s not working he’s sleeping. We’ve had problems with this because if he is sleeping I can’t reach him and its gotten as bad as not hearing from him for a whole day. He’s consistently saying he wants to see me yet makes last minute or no plans with me. Last time I saw him was on Tuesday for 30 mins when he drove me home from work and we’ve had minimal communication this weekend. I’m upset because honestly I just feel ignored and pathetic. I’ve told him that it hurts my feelings when he doesn’t respond to my messages or communicate with me. He says he wants to get better and will work on it/ be with me but this is a consistent problem between us. I’ve been open and honest with him about what I need in a relationship and have given him opportunities to get out if we aren’t on the same page but he insists that he wants to be with me.
I know we are going to break up because this isn’t what I want out of a relationship at all. It just sucks because he always says that he cares about me and wants a future between but honestly has shown zero action towards his words. I’m frustrated because I saw the potential between us but have come to the realization that I need to end it if not I’m just going to be in a one way relationship.
I’ve never really had this problem in dating before and I’m honestly kind of dumbfounded by it. The longer I’ve dated people the more we talk not the opposite. Has anyone else encountered this type of behavior?
Sounds like he has some major commitment issues. Think about your future: if he doesn’t follow through with what he says he’s gonna do now, then what’s he gonna do in the future? Take is far, far down the road, is this someone you’d want to raise children with? You said yourself this isn’t what you want from a relationship, and he’s not changing, he’s not following through.
I don’t know if you need to hear this from someone who’s gone through it, but considering breaking up. I mean really, actually breaking it off. You tried fixing it, it didn’t work. You’re unhappy, it’s time to move on. It’s gonna hurt in the short term, but you really don’t deserve someone who’s not going to work with you here.
Sounds like my ex. I stayed with him for five years and it really took a toll on my self esteem, and also was not what I wanted in a relationship. I want a partner, not someone who I sleep next to for seven hours a night and then don’t see or hear from the rest of the week.
I would break up now before it’s five years from now.
Does he know you’re exclusive?