Dating : Do you ghost the ghost?
So, we matched on Tinder and met the following week. It was one of those ordinary date where you parted with a hug. We texted and texted some more and decided to meet again. On the day of the second date, there was radio silence until the last hour with an excuse of being late …. I simply replied « I understand ». At that point I had acknowledged the rejection, swallowed my pride and deleted all his contacts and unmatched him on Tinder. « Thank you, Next! »
A month after ghosting me, I get a casual message followed by a request for a second chance. I thanked him for the offer, politely declined it with the quote, »Fool me twice, shame on me! » and wished him a « Happy Hunting! »
I thought this was a mature way of dealing with ghosting and I enjoy having a closure. Now, I am having second thoughts. Do you ghost a ghost or have a closure?
Honestly I wouldn’t care enough to want to ghost him. He sounds like a flake with a hell of a lot of nerve, chalk it up to a dodged bullet and forget he ever existed. And yes, enjoy your closure.
Don’t give him second chances in this situation. If they stood you up once they will do it again.
Maturity asking other things has to do with escaping from the naive self that doesn’t learn fast enough.
Do not over think this and do not give this person any more of your time. You’ll never know the reason why he flaked. It’s just a part of life. People can be dicks, but just remember that at the end of the day you matter the most. One person cannot and should not make you feel like you are different. We are all the same, yet all different because of our feelings and taste.
It’s easier said than done, but remember that you create and control your happiness. Do not let one person who has their own insecurities and issues manipulate how you feel about yourself. We are all different in shape, color, and size. But we are all spinning on this ball of dirt and we are all seeking happiness. No one is perfect, but what you do and the effort you put into yourself is all that matters. It’s not selfish. It’s not easy but it’s reality. You are unique and you’ll be surprised that certain people want to sacrifice their time to spend it with you. It’s just hard and takes a lot of effort to remember that.
I don’t see the part where he ghosted you, honestly… He was just really, really late. Which is a bad thing unless he got a good reason, but it’s not ghosting.
Damn you ladies are savage as hell. Must be nice to be able to drop people knowing that another 400 guys are already lined up… Us guys can’t even IMAGINE this. I’ve also had women do this EXACT thing so many times I’ve lost count (either flake at he « last minute » or just straight ghost), and I’m usually willing to give a second chance, but never a third.
** »On the day of the second date, there was radio silence until the last hour with an excuse of being late. »**
You say « being late, » but you’re implying that he totally flaked out at the last hour. Which is it? Did he say he was going to be late, then you got mad and totally cancelled the date? Also, how was the first date? Did you like each other or was it just meh? Did you try texting HIM at all that day? Because if you were both totally silent, you can’t really complain. Now, if you texted him earlier in the day and he was just ignoring your text, then at the last minute flaked… Yeah, that’s a douche move. Depending on your answers to these questions, a second chance could have been in order. And yeah, you REALLY need to let go of that pride.