Dating : Going on a date on Sunday for the first time in 4 years
After my ex of 3+ years cheated on me and left me for someone else in January, I stayed away from dating or talking to other people.
But on Monday when I went out for Canada day, I met someone who I actually find attractive and he finds me interesting too. He invited me to his place on Sunday, and he’s gonna make me dinner.
I haven’t been on a date in so long. I don’t even know how to flirt. And I’m so shy. What do I even talk about. Lol ahhh I’m freaking out.
Ah good luck!! You will be fine! Just think of it as like catching up with an old friend. I feel like thinking of it as a “date” puts a lot more pressure on the situation and makes people a lot more anxious. You can talk about hobbies, career, dream job, family life, friends, pets, favorite books or movies or music, current events, etc
>>I can’t think of anything to say
Your overall attitude, vibe, and frame of mind > your phrasing, wording and tone > anything you actually say.
Focus on improving your attitude. Focus on embracing a positive, playful, relaxed frame of mind.
What you say or talk about in particular isn’t important. A relaxed, confident attitude is contagious and it covers a multiple of conversational sins.
>I haven’t been on a date in so long. I don’t even know how to flirt.
Smile and make eye contact. This is key.
Your date probably isn’t great at flirting either. Just roll with it.
Ask questions about things your date says that show you’re listening.
>And I’m so shy.
[Choose to be Vulnerable instead.](https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability/up-next?language=en) Choose to be seen on a deeper level.
Your personal flaws, faults, and mistakes are rarely deal breakers, but being defensive and reactive often is.
The cure for this is being willing to be vulnerable.
Openness is an expression of inner belief and strength. Inner strength and resilience is a trait which almost everyone poseses but many people don’t want to acknowledge in themselves. This is because they want to see themselves as helpless, victims, inferior or broken when they aren’t.
Openness is a trait which is sorely lacking in so many modern persons. Fear of vulnerability is an epidemic in modern dating.