Dating : How do I brand myself when I’m interested in hooking up as opposed to dating?
After several instances of girls mistaking my intentions, I’ve come to the conclusion that it must be me and not them at this point. I’m a 19 year old male in college. Tbf, I’m the kinda guy that likes to have long convo’s on tinder and actually get to know people. I wonder if this makes me come off as someone interested in dating as opposed to hooking up.
Some of you might ask why I don’t just straight up let them know, but the thing is I’ve tried. I feel like what I say I’m looking for goes right out the window once they get to know me. I’ve had two girls tell me that they felt like I was being dishonest about wanting to date them. After I mentioned that I made it explicitly clear that I wanted to only keep it casual, they said they thought I changed my mind because of how I was acting with them. If you saw me on the street you’d probably think that I was a polite virgin. I’m really starting to think it might be my personality, looks, and dress style. I’m not trying to reinvent myself. I’m content with who am I, but I’d love some tips to prevent this from happening. I get really guilty for some reason when this happens because I still have some self-confidence issues from being led on and wouldn’t want to inadvertently do it to anyone else.
“Here for a good time not a long time”
Human dildo ready for action
I made a post yesterday about this.
You can be 41 and never learn this lesson.
Women that really connect with you want more than a hookup. And more than a hookup to most women means exclusivity, then commitment, then marriage, family, growing old together.
If you want to hook up, enforce boundaries. No long conversations except in person. No meeting two nights in a row, no more than two nights a week. Yes, she will leave you the moment she finds a possibility for a relationship that fulfills her personal life goals, but it’s not fair for you to treat her like a girlfriend and a hookup at the same time. That is 100% leading her on. And if you treat her like a girlfriend, you should dump her the moment you know you’re not going to marry her. Women are not like men. They feel differently, act differently, and want different things. Acknowledge and respect that. I need to learn this myself so I’m teaching you as a way of reinforcing the lesson in my own head.
If you want to have an emotional connection with someone, you have to consider that they are a human being who wants things too, and you have to give and take with a relationship. Otherwise, you’re just an emotional vampire feeding on them and not giving anything back in return.
>Tbf, I’m the kinda guy that likes to have long convo’s on tinder and actually get to know people. I wonder if this makes me come off as someone interested in dating as opposed to hooking up.
of course that’s what it is.
Female here! I actually found some guys said it on their bios that they are looking for something casual. I think that actually might work well. I’m not looking for something casual at the moment so by them having it up allows me to move on and avoid any misunderstandings.
In terms of having a long conversation, I’d associate that with dating and getting to know someone than a hook up. Dating you want to get to know someone and connect with them. Hook ups are really about sex and keeping things casual. Obviously the first message you send shouldn’t be let’s have sex. Having a short conversation is better as it allows the girl to know you are idk normal or whatever. Then tell them that you are only looking for something casual rather than having a long conversation. Then they can decide from there.
become a 10/10
Reconsider whether you should brand yourself that way at all.