Dating : Advice for approaching women?
So I’m an introverted 24 year old guy, but I actually dont have much trouble approaching girls. I forced myself to get relatively comfortable with it in the past six months.
Problem is, most girls either say they have a boyfriend or say no, and it hasn’t worked out with any of the rest. I’ve been scared of rejection my whole life, until recently, so I have no real experience with dating or women from before this year, so I’m at a loss. My typical approach is to say hi, introduce myself, ask for a name, and if that goes well, ask if they want to hang out.
Is there something I’m missing? Should I be not doing something or definitely be adding another step or two? Most women are nice about the rejections, and I dont really mind it happening, I would just really like to actually get to go out on dates and such. Any advice is welcome, as I am clearly missing something
How can I improve?
I’ve never been cold approached but I probably wouldn’t say yes to a guy who did that either. Maybe try talking about something for a little bit to make it seem like you’re interested in more than her looks (being only interested in looks makes it seem like you are only interested in sex). Compliment her outfit, ask her a few questions, talk to her a little bit about yourself. That way you can see how she responds and if you feel good about it, then go for it.
I’ve never cold approached myself so I can’t say for sure what you’re doing wrong. Perhaps it’s the setting? Maybe talk about something first where you both have opportunity to show your personalities. If you go straight for ‘want to hang out’ after asking their name, they might think you’re purely there for her looks (which is true but they don’t need to know that).
Also, numbers game. Just keep trying and statistically you’ll hit.
I wouldn’t even ask out for a date… I’d shoot for a phone number and see if she would enjoy talking on the phone….. then when you have good phone vibes you can ask out.
is that really the only steps you took? If so, then you missed out on setting the seen. What you’re doing now is just introducing yourself as an acquaintance and is a bad segway to asking to « hang out ». Get in a few teases, banter and get her laughing first before dropping the date suggestion. I’d say go for numbers first since you’re starting out – make a date on the spot if you’re certain that she’s into you.
I can give you more specific advise if you detail a couple of interactions.
You probably aren’t doing anything wrong at all. Women are significantly more selective and more harsh at judging attractiveness.
https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a
Assuming you aren’t insanely attractive, you’re basically hoping to win the lottery. Even if you approached perfectly and said the perfect things, the bottom line is that your odds are shit regardless. Any guy’s are.