Dating : What went wrong here?
I (23m) was dating a girl at college just before the Summer vacation. Things were going well and we kept in contact during Summer. She lives quite far away so meeting up wasn’t a possibility. We weren’t texting everyday, in fact I’d say we’d be talking via text every 2-3 days, sometimes longer.
However, problems appeared when I texted her and she didn’t reply for a week. This was out of character so I asked her if anything was wrong. She said she had replied but as I clearly hadn’t received a message I doubted this and I’ve never had an issue with my phone regarding texting.
She asked if I was angry and I said no because I wasn’t. We weren’t in a relationship and both busy. I did find it a bit weird that she hadn’t texted me for a week though.
She replied and said I wasn’t being honest and that I was clearly pissed off. She also said I was probably too clingy for her and that I should end it with her if this was the case. I took this as a red flag and ended it immediately but expressed my anger at being called clingy when I hadn’t behaved this way at all.
I said to her that I thought she wanted to break it off and was just putting the responsibility on me but she denied this.
Anyways it’s over now and we’re not texting anymore. I wanted to hear people’s thoughts on this. Why did she behave the way she did? Did I do anything wrong here?
She want to dump you but did not want to be the bad guy…this is over man.
It doesn’t sound like you were clingy. She was just using that as an excuse cuz she wasn’t interested
It’s hard to say from only hearing one side. You obviously are going to describe your texts as reasonable even if they were really « clingy. » And what if she really *did* send a response?
Based on your description, she was gaslighting you in an effort to get out of the relationship and still be the victim. She tried to convince you of something that didn’t happen, and proceeded to tell you how you feel about it. I’ve had an ex do this exact same thing to break up with me before.
Of course, if she did send the response (or even if she didn’t) and you wouldn’t stop complaining about it, it’s not all that unreasonable for her to get upset. And with the frustration of distance, a change was probably already on her mind.
If an ugly guy hits on a woman, she calls him creepy. If she is dating the guy and she isn’t fully interested, she calls him clingy. I’m not saying there are not creepy and clingy guys out there, but those two words are what girls use to describe men they’re not interested in. You probably weren’t clingy or anything like that.