Dating : A second chance?

Dating : A second chance?

I was in a relationship with this girl. She almost have all the qualities I am looking for. I really love her and she also loves me too. We were really happy when we affirmed our love to each other after all the shit we have to go through to be together.

At first, I can say that we were madly in love with each other. We would make out almost everyday. We would also spend time with each other for every time we are free. I would make effort to give her everything she needs for her well-being. She would also do the same thing, as if she’s following my efforts for her. We would make plans for our future like about family and businesses. She would think of names for our children. We were really happy and contented with how our relationship goes.

But then reality strikes, I got my first job and started working immediately after graduating from college. With my working schedule, we adjusted the time that we could meet. It was no problem but the time we spend with each other was smaller compared to before. Then, because of the nature of my job, I would always get stressed and my mood will also get affected. She noticed it and she also gets affected with my stressed mood. We would get into small fights because of it. Thank goodness that we talked about it. We talked how I was stressed because kf work and she understood. There are changes with our relationship compared to before but the love is still there.

But everything changed when she also started working. She is the type to get very pressured with something that is beyond her capabilities. Just like me, she got stressed with her job, twice stressed than mine. As someone who experience the same shit, I was there to support her and make her feel good. But as time goes by, she still get stressed with her work and other problems starts to stack. Our relationship also got affected. Despite my best to comfort her, we would always fight over small stuffs because of work and our personal issues. Despite our effort to comfort each other, we would always have small fights. But despite that, the love was still there. We still love each other but not the same as before.

We are reaching the endgame now. She requested a cooldoff from our relationship. Her reason was that she have so many problems to tackle and our relationship is one of those. She’s having a hard time juggling her problems so she decided to put aside our relationship so that maybe everything will be easier for her. I tried to reason with her that this will not solve all her problems. Thankfully, she agreed to continue our relatiknship and changed her mind. But, she requested an alone-time, meaning to left her alone and we will only meet once a week. I agreed. I thought that she needed it, her personal space.

But, as I gave her space, she starts to spend with other people especially her workmates and past buddies. I know that it is good for her well-being to spend time with others but she’s starting to spend time, that was supposedly our time, with others. I felt really jealous, but I know it is good for her so I only kept it to myself so not no spark another fight. As time goes by, she spent more time with others than with me. It was really fkne with me but what triggered me so bad was that she told me it was more fun to be with others, she felt more free and more happy. My judgement at that was really clouded. I got confused what was the proper thing to do for the best of us. And so I decided to let go of her.

We meet and told her that it is best to break up based on previous engagements with each other. I thought that it is better to let her go and it is better for her to spend time with others than with me since she said it herself. I don’t even know if the love from the start was still there or is it even strong anymore. As we talked, tears were shed and the atmosphere was so sad.

After several days, we talked and discussed about what we should do after breaking up. After some discussion, we decided to get back together after when everything is stable. We would get back when she has solved her own problems and ready to be in relationship with me again. I too felt the same.

I really thought that we will get back together in the future when we’re ok and stable since we decided it together that we will do so…but something changed.

When we broke up, she started to really spend more time with others. She spent most of her time with her workmates, her friends and with my friends. And when my friends knew that we broke up, it seems they started to also spend time with her without me knowing. They would spend time together without me knowing. I got jealous and angry.

I asked her again if she wanted to get back together with me in the future just like we planned. But, she answered differenlty this time. She said that we should really « move on » and just be friends in the future.

I was in shock. I mean she changed. She changed her thoughts about our relationship just like that, she changed after a month of our breakup. Don’t get me wrong. She really changed, she became more happy and I am glad with that. But, what I was worried about is our relationship if it would continue in the future or not. I kept asking her about us in the future but the more I try to give effort for us again like giving her gifts and letters, the more she insists for us to « move on » and just be friends in the future but not now. She meant for us not to see each other nlow until everything is ok. Until then we are not friends. I don’t even know what we are now. She just kept shutting me down when I try to talk to her or invite her to see with each other.

I will give one last effort next month.

But I want to ask for advice of should I continue chasing her and win her heart again or should I just move on and fine someone new?

Sorry for the long post!