Dating : HELP! I attach too quickly and I don’t know how to stop myself
I met a guy. A month ago, he superliked me on Tinder. We talked briefly, and then I stopped using the app and in the process, I accidentally ghosted him. Whoops…
Then more recently, I was on my way to a friend’s birthday party and a really fricken cute guy got on the bus. I accidentally made eye contact with him once. Not long after, he struck up a conversation with me, and he commented that I looked familiar. We chatted a bit more and before parting ways, he asked me out and we exchanged numbers. Hours later, I realized he was the guy from Tinder and we shared a laugh about it. Luckily, he wasn’t mad at all and was still happy to go out with me.
We went out and it was amazing. The conversation flowed smoothly, we had plenty in common, we had similar values, and the chemistry was **spectacular**. We went back to his place after our walk, and we listened to records and talked and spent more time kissing, but didn’t sleep together. And then he drove me home.
Now here’s the foolish part: I have since then completely dropped all other conversations with other guys I had previously been considering going on dates with, and I can’t get this guy out of my head. I know I’m not in love with him yet. But I’m craving him. I don’t know if that’s just my unconscious longing for intimacy that’s latching onto him as a target, and blinding me to this really not being as awesome as I feel like it is, or if there’s really a connection here. I feel awfully confused, and quite vulnerable because I already like him more than I’m comfortable with. It feels like I have something to lose again.
If anybody has any thoughts, advice, or similar experiences, please please help me out here.
Wanting to be loved and seen isn’t wrong. When someone sees you, it’s so flattering and that can be addicting! Just know that you are still lovable and worth knowing even when you aren’t getting attention from those men. I used to be the same way, but I realized that alot of my self worth was tied to if they pursued me or not.
You are worth it even when someone doesn’t acknowledge you! It’s not wrong to be attached quickly, people are made to connect, just don’t lose yourself in the process. You are precious, my friend.
It doesn’t sound like you constantly attach too quickly, you’re just really attracted to this guy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with strongly liking someone so quickly, you’re on dating apps to meet people go hopefully find someone you have a connection with, right? So it appears you found someone you could have a connection with. Obviously I don’t think you should go and profess your love for this guy, but try to keep telling yourself to enjoy spending time with him and just getting to know him.
Wow. Just wow. « I got a lot of options, now I want to drop the options for a man that seems to be worth it »
In my opinion, this is the opposite of a problem.
And everything that is worth something is something you are afraid to lose.