Dating : 24M khhv, time to give up?
24, have tried to date for over 6-7 years. Have gotten 0 tinder matches despite thousands of swipes, 0 okcupid matches despite being on there for 4 years, constant rejections despite asking out multiple people, and it’s all related to my face.
Because of how below average my facial structure is I’ve never been on a date let alone ever had a girl interested in me but lately it’s been incredibly crushing since the fact that I’m ugly seems to extend to every facet of my life. Women have never tried to be my friend, never actively spoken to me, and go to great lengths to avoid me. This happens everywhere. On the bus women sit in every other seat except the one next to me. In public spaces like coffee shops or libraries they’ll sit as far away from me as possible and next to the average to good looking guys. At the gym (this is the most hurtful one) they sit as far away from me as possible in the lobby then when the class starts they choose every other treadmill except the ones next to me. I’m not kidding when I say every single class I have 1-2 treadmills next to me empty when every other ones is completely full. If there are enough guys there then at least one of those will be taken, but otherwise it’s always empty.
I just wish I could tell these women I did not choose my facial structure, and I would give anything in the world, even my own life, to be even a 5/10 decent looking guy. Every other guy I see on the street is like this and it makes me so miserable and depressed. I’ve attempted suicide over how ugly my face is, and now I just live day to day. I’ve even gotten plastic surgery but because my base features were so bad the implants did not do much. I’m so fucking lonely and I wish every day I wake up that either I woke up and were decent looking or just didn’t wake up at all. Since I have already gotten plastic surgery and am still ugly my base facial features are just too ugly to even become decent looking. So what I am wondering from you guys is whether it is just time to give up dating. My original plan was to try to lose weight then get surgery from a different surgeon who is more knowledgeable, but looking back at all the comments ive gotten over the years I realize now my face is just too ugly to save. I still have my plan that if my dating life doesn’t radically change for the better by the time I turn 30 then I will kill myself, but I’m wondering if I should just move that up because I don’t see a trajectory of things changing.
Thanks
It’s entirely possible to be so ugly that no woman could ever find your attractive, but that’s very rare. Online dating is a waste of time. I recommend becoming a drug dealer or joining a church. Either will increase your chances.
ok listen i saw the pics of you on your other post and you need to stop. you’re not ugly. i honestly think you need counseling
Yea
The other comment on this is bang on!
You’re clearly motivated to improve yourself and that’s a great place to start. Try not to lose hope because you’re still very young and there’s plenty of girls out there wondering if they will ever find someone too.
I know with online dating I look for good quality pictures, a positive attitude (fake it til you make it), someone that has interests or hobbies that they enjoy, and intelligence. Losing weight would probably help lift your confidence too!
Remember that you are much more than just your physical appearance and try to connect to people through clubs or groups in your area – then you’re starting off with something in common. If you do like someone, don’t ask them out straight away, more often than not friendship is a better tactic.
Happy to provide more advice from a 20-something female if it helps 🙂
U either have a shitty personality. Honestly you dont sound confident at all and that’s a huge fucking turn off. My guess is ur constantly asking people how you look even irl. Not a surprise I wouldnt want to date someone like that either. Instead of focusing on your appearance how about you focus on other things first because you’re just gonna be agonizing over this till you deem yourself to be attractive enough which with your attitude will probably never happen. You need to change your whole mindset my friend
Edit: words cuz I was high
Also I’m not trying to be mean I’m actually trying to break this guy down and solve his problem because clearly its more than his appearance that is wrong
How many lady friends have peer reviewed your pictures and profile? If you don’t have lady friends… use sites like photofeeler.com. You’d be surprised how the right photo can take you from a 4 to an 8.
How many pictures are professional photography shots? How many are Cellphone shots? Optics on a camera make a difference. If you have a really good photo and a shit photo in your profile… lose the shit photo even if that means you only have one. Then add more good photos. Never post a bad/mediocre photo.
Has anyone given you fashion advice?
You had face work done, how about hairstyle/facial hair to match?
You said loose weight. What is stopping you? Ever heard of face gains? People who are in shape and drink lots of water tend to have slimmer, more defined facial structure.
Nothing stops you from improving on yourself. There are no shortcuts, though. Change what you can, don’t sweat the things you can’t.
Even when you do start getting those dates, you are going to fail a lot. It’s a numbers and experience game. Don’t sweat it, just learn from it and move on.
Also: if you can commit to a 10 year relationship… adopt a cute dog. It’s good for your mental well being, keeps you responsible, and makes for a great icebreaker with random ladies on the street.